Can he help me
by GothMomma21
Summary: Ana has been through a lot, but so has Christian. The only difference is, Ana has a child. The means of the child is of dark past which she avoids for the love of her child. Christian has been hurt in a more physical abuse. Can they help each other find love, and give Pheobe the father she deserves? First fanfic please be kind and enjoy it! Rated M for future. I OWN NOTHING!
1. Chapter 1

He's coming, I can hear him. He's yelling at mom, telling her everything that is wrong with our lives. I miss Ray, I miss having him around to protect me. I can feel him at the door, he's drunk again. Trying to grasp a hold of what he's fixing to do, I grab the bat that I had put in bed with me. I needed this. I needed the security but I know he'll just over power me like he usually does. I'm so scared.

"Ana, I'm coming in." He shouts, I can hear the alcohol in his words. It's fight or flight this time and I know what he's going to do to me if I don't fight.

BAM! The door slams open and he's got the look in his eyes. I hope this is the night I die. I hope he beats me till I can't breathe anymore, because I can't do this anymore. The lies. The teasing at school. Watching mom hide away pretending like she doesn't know what is going on.

"Tonight, I'm going to make you a real woman Ana." He says as he pulls down his pants. My fear has reached its maximum level. Please, let him kill me tonight. All I remember is the door closing and mom crying in her room.

I bolt out of bed with sweat and fear. It has been so long since I've had these nightmares. I guess my interview with the famous Christian Grey, of Grey Enterprise, has me nervous. I look over to my left and there, my angel sleeps. Pheobe Steele. My daughter, my angel, my life among all the craziness I've been through. I move a piece of chocolate brown from her eyes and smile. I can do this. I can do this.

I head to the shower, as I hear Kate having a coughing fit in her room. I'm doing this interview for Kate, due to her coming down with the flu. I really should be focusing on finals but she suckered me into it with her charms and constant pesturing.

The hot water falls across me, loosening up my muscles that tightened from the night. The nightmare replaying in my mind, the memories flooding back to me. I push them from my mind and think about the day, and how work will go tonight and my playdate with Pheobe and her friend Shelby. The two of them should keep my mind filled and hands busy for the night.

"Ana, do you have the questions? Oh, and take my car please, it'll look more professional. Also, please don't make that face, you will do great." Kate tells me as she sniffles. I can't help but smile at my two girls. I don't know what I would do without them.

"Yes, I have the questions, and the recorder, and an extra pen. There is food for you two in the fridge, and please take some medicine. Remember that Pheobe has a friend coming over if I don't get back in time." I give Kate a kiss on the forehead, feeling her tempature which has risen. I then give Pheobe a huge hug and kiss before I leave.

"Good luck mommy! I love you!" Pheobe says as she stuffs cereal in her mouth. I chuckle at her and head to Kate's car and off to Seatle. I'm not so sure of myself as I hit the highway but I know that Kate is counting on me, and how hard she worked for the oppurtunity to talk with Mr. Grey. I just hope I help her.

Hours after being on the road, and two cups of chia tea later, I park at Grey Enterprise, and slowly breathe. My heart is beating out of my chest. I have never done anything like this, not like Kate. I get out of the car, put on my jacket, and walk to the doors where a kind gentleman has opened it for me in a suit. I walk to the desk and greeted by a pretty blonde.

"May I help you?" She asks with a smile, I wish I could smile so sweetly back.

"I am here to see Mr. Grey for Katherine Kavanagh. She has the flu, so she sent myself instead." I am out of breath by the end of my senetence.

"Okay, take this pass and head to the elevator and press 40, and tell the assistant you are here to see Mr. Grey." She smiles again and hands me my visitor pass and walks me to the elevator.

"Thanks." I say back and smile back. I press the button marked 40 and breathe slowly. 'This is it Anastasia, just stay calm' I tell myself over and over till the doors open and I see the receptionist desk. I walk over slowly, seeing blonde two and three, and hand them the pass.

"Hi, my name is Anastasia Steele here for Katherine Kavanagh to interview Mr. Grey. Kate or Katherine, has the flu so she sent myself." My heart is still in overdrive and my nerves are shocked. Does he employe only pretty blondes?

"Here you are Miss Steele, Mr. Grey will see you shortly. May I have your coat and offer you a drink?" Blonde two asks. I just shake my head and hand over my coat. At least everyone here is polite.

I sit down and go over the questions Kate has written down. She really gets detailed in this. I hope he doesn't mind, but then he is probably interview and questioned all the time. Just another day for the billionare. I wonder how old he is. I wish I could have seen a picture of him, or a biography of him. I should have done research.

"Miss Steele, Mr. Grey will see you now," blonde three says as she is writing something down. I slowly get up and walk over to his door. My heart and mind is going a million miles per hour as I step into his door, although the universe must hate me today because as soon as I take a step in, my feet falter and I fall to the ground.

"Are you okay Miss Kavanagh?" A man says, and holy smokes he looks young. A few years older then myself. I can't do this. I can't look at this man, he's to pretty and he looks so intense.

"My name is Anastasia St-Steele. My roomate, Kate or uh Miss Kavanagh has caught the flu so she has sent myself instead. I am sorry about this, but this interview is very important to her." I say fast, dizzy by his stare. Usually men make me uncomfortable, but he doesn't. He gives me a different feeling and it scares me.

"Of course, please have a seat," he gestures me to a long couch and chair. I just need to breathe, I keep telling myself. Please, just let me breathe and make it through this.

I set up my recorder and get the questions out but realize I had lost my pen, and start to panic. This must look so unprofesional. I look over, and I know he sees the panic in my eyes and lets out a sigh and hands me a pen that is in his suit pocket and looks me dead in the eyes.

I breathe in softly and ask the question to get it all started, "Are you ready?" I say confidently as I could. A smile forms on his lips and just responds, "whenever you are Miss Steele."

I look at the questions I have, and start to fire them off, he answers them looking bored but the look in his eyes send this surge in my belly and I know this feeling to well. I keep moving my legs around, to control the feeling that is creeping up in me. After a few minutes, Mr. Grey must be annoyed by my movements, and leans up on his knees.

"Do you have a genuine question for me Miss Steele, a question that you yourself want to ask." The look in his eyes says something so different then his body language, and the feeling starts to become so much more intense. I bite my lip and think if I should ask the question on my mind.

"Mr. Grey, I can see how successful you are but the look you give makes me feel like you are a little lonely. Are you happy with what you have and are? I only ask because I know the look you have in your eyes." I say looking towards the ground. I know I probably messed up big but he moves some in his chair and coughs.

"Miss Steele you are a very observent person. I am happy with what and where I am, I have a very successful business, a happy family, and I can feed people in need. Now I would like to ask you a question, why is it you refuse to look me in the eyes for more then a second." He pulls my chin up and I blush all over. Kate will not believe this at all.

"Men who have power, and master control scare me. They make me feel powerless. That is why I was so hesitant to do this interview, but Kat- I mean Miss Kavanagh needed this for the paper. Her and I are graduating in a few weeks then we plan on moving here in Seatle. My daught-" I cut myself off, realizing I don't want to tell a stranger my life story. I pull away as I start to load up my questions to leave.

"What do you want to do when you graduate?" Mr. Grey asks, obviously not wanting me to leave.

I look over, and see he is looking me in the eyes. My inner self reeling at how handsome and seductive he looks right now. "I plan on helping people. I want to help people who are scared, or want to talk to someone." My answer catches him off guard, and I use that lapse to make my way to the door and out of his gaze. His powerful look just takes over and memories flood back.

Mr. Grey walks me to the elevator, after retrieving my coat and pushes the down arrow. I give him Kate's email and a copy of her questions incase we didn't cover something important. Before the elevator beeps to let me in, I hear Mr. Grey shuffle next to me.

"You should look into Grey Enterprise, we have plenty of out reach programs that you may like." He says, catching my gaze. His gray eyes holding mine, and I feel like I can't escape.

"Thank you, and I will look into it. Thank you again for the interview," I say as the elevator doors open. I quickly make my way in as he pushes the ground floor. His hand grazes mine, and my heart flutters.

"Be safe, Anastasia" He says to me, and at that moment all I can say is, "You too, Christian." Then to my luck the elevators close.

All I can do is hold my breath till I get outside in the rain. I can't believe I did it. Kate will not believe this. I make my way home and all I can do is go over the interview and the feelings I was getting. Men have terrified me since I was 15 but this man, he doesn't. Christian Grey, the man that can change me. Not what I was expecting. He has a lucky girlfriend, that's for sure.

After pulling into the apartment complex, I look myself up and down in the mirror and glass of the car. I feel confident-ish. Well, I feel like I can be confident. As I turn around I hear the sound of angels, as Pheobe runs to me and jumps into my arms.

"Mommy! I missed you! How was your thing with the man?" Pheobe asked while hugging me. I smile and kiss her cheek. "It went well honey, where's aunt Kate?" I ask, and hold her hand as we walk in. I not only see Kate, fast at work on my interview which Mr. Grey must have emailed over to her.

"ANA! Thank you sooo much! You have no idea how helpful this is! I just wish we had some original stills of him!" Kate keeps looking at her laptop, fast at work. I smile and go over to the table to make Pheobe and I a sandwich before her friend shows up.

For the rest of the hour, Kate asks questions, listening to the recorder and laughing at me, I guess I sounded as nervous as I felt. Pheobe and Shelby are coloring away, as I read Tess and hum to myself.

Before I know it, Pheobe is bringing the phone to me and saying it is a man, I look at her and wonder who it would be. "Hello? ANA! Oh god, I'm sorry I know it's your day off but we need you here at work. Nate just hurt himself and I need someone on the register. Please I will pay you double time today." Clate is practically histaricoul on the phone. I laugh and try and calm him down, "Yes, yes. Hold on let me ask Kate if she can babysit, Pheobe has a friend over tonight. I should be there in 15 minutes just calm down." I laugh as he thanks me and I hang up.

"Go ahead, I got the girls. I'm feeling much better and they are always awesome with me. I might just call in some chinese food for dinner." Pheobe and Shelby squeal as I laugh and grab my coat and keys and head off to work. Over all, the day was a success.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for the awesome reviews :) Just to be sure I own nothing except a few characters! I hope everyone enjoys chapter 2! If you guys have any questions just pm me and I will try and answer without further delay chapter 2!**

**CHAPTER 2**

"Night Clate!" I yell back at Clayton as I shut the door and lock it behind me. I have been here at Clayton's hardware for three years now, and he has been a true hero. Anytime Pheobe has something going on, or I need extra hours, he always finds a way to help me out. If I could only keep his brother away from me, then it would be perfect.

I walk to my car, checking the time on my watch and seriously can't believe it's so late. I hope the girls are in bed. I walkl to my car to hear my cell phone ping, then realize I haven't check it all day. It's been such a hectic day I forgot that I was expecting a call from Ray about graduation. I smile at the thought of my dad, realizing he's probably fishing or widdling on some wood.

I look at my phone to see I have three missed calls, one from Ray and one from my mom. I don't like talking to her on the phone or even text her really. It brings back memories that I really don't want to think of. I look and see I have three new messages:

_Ana,_

_ It's been a while since we've talked. I miss you, oh and so does Bob. Won't be able to make graduation. Bob broke his ankle so we won't be able to travel. I love you, honey. Call me soon please!_

_ Love, mom_

I shutter at the thought of seeing her, but I do miss her. I'll have to call her later on and check in. I bet she misses Pheobe. She's only seen her a handful of times, and every time it is harder then the last to be able to be around her. My trust and faith in her is next to none, but I'm trying to trust her again, at least for Pheobe. I check my phone again and click on Rays message.

_Hey Ana,_

_ Let me know what is going on for graduation. Can't wait to see my three girls. I love you all._

_ Dad_

Just the thought of Ray brings a smile to my face. I can't wait to have him back, Pheobe just loves Papa and he always spoils her with everything she wants. I then look to see who texted me last and just laugh to myself. I knew Kate would eventually text me.

_ANA! _

_ We have Chinese food and movies! Oh! Also wine! Haha. Anyways, the girls are in bed and fast asleep. Hurry home girlie! I miss you!_

I chuckle to myself as I get in my car and speed off home. I try and not to think about anything to do with mom or _him_. 'Remember Ana, we went through a lot of therapy and doctors to deal with this. You have Pheobe and Kate, and don't let that ruin this.' Yet, in the back of my head I could see the two gray eyes of a gorgeous man who I can't seem to shake.

I make my way home, and unlock to door only to hear Kate and Jose laughing and joking around. I walk in and place my keys on the counter and put my jacket on the back of my favorite chair. I creep past the two laughing lunatics and check on the girls. Of course they'd be in my bed. Just looking at Pheobe reminds me of happier times with mom.

_"Mommy! Look at me!" As I jump on the bed and yell to mom. Ray comes in and tackles me and laughs. Mom comes in and smiles at us. She shakes her head and jumps on the bed wiht us and laughs._

_ "Mommy, can dad and I go outside tomorrow and build snowmen?" I ask looking up at Ray. Mom tells me that my real dad died when she was pregnant with me, but she found Ray and since then he has taken care of me. I love Ray and I know mommy does too._

_ "We will see Anastasia, now it's time for bed." Mom comes to cuddle in with me and dad and it feels so good to have them with me. I know this feeling will never change. I start to fall asleep as mom starts to hum to me._

"Everything okay, Ana?" Jose asks behind me as I wipe a tear away. My heart starts to swell and hurts. I wish those days would have never ended, but I have Pheobe and I know that through all the horrid things I have been through, she was worth all of the pain and agony.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just checking on the girls. They seem to love my bed more then I do," I say softly not to wake them as I take a glass filled with wine from Jose. He looks me in the eyes and says nothing else. I think he understand how much I hate remembering my past.

"Ana! You're home finally! Come on and watch this movie with us! It's so funny, and it's a british comedy, you're favorite." Kate hands me some Chinese food and laughs at the people on screen. I smile but in my heart I'm screaming. I wish mom could come see me in a small way. I know she loves me, but I keep thinking the same thing I always do evertime I hear from her: Why weren't you there for me?

_I'm screaming in pain and bleeidng. I feel so dirty. Mom, where are you? Why weren't you there for me? I'm in so much pain, and I feel like I'm dying. Why did he do that to me? What did I do?_

_ "ANA GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE!" He screams as I run. I grab mom's phone and call Ray. I'm shaking and I think shock is setting in. I need you Ray, please pick up. The phone rings once, twice, three times._

_ "Carla? It's late, why the phone call so late?" My dad says on the other line and I break down in tears as I run farther down the road. I can't stop. I can't let him find me._

_ "DAD! It's me, Ana, please come get me. I need to go to the hospital. Please, come get me!" I scream histerically. Please understand what I'm asking.._

_ "Go to the police station, I'm on my way. Don't stop for anyone, not even your mother. I'm coming to get you." He then hangs up and I hook a right to the police station. I can't let anyone find me. I'm dying. I hurt so much. Mom, how come you let him do this?_

I wake up sweating and crying. The nightmares still haunting me and it's been already five days since the interview. I guess finals have started to really get to me. We have started the finals, the last of my shackles till I am set free with my degree. I look over, and again, Pheobe is fast asleep next to me. I smile and kiss her gently and get out of bed.

I start some classical music and head to the shower, and let the hot rays of heat relax my muscles. I need to stop thinking of _him_. I have gotten so far, and he can't hurt me anymore. He's in jail for a very long time, away from me and Pheobe, not that he knows about her. He will never know of her, and if he does know of her, then he will never see or meet her.

"Mommy, I'm hungry." Pheobe says walking in rubbing her eyes and yawning. I smile and turn off the water and towel off fast, not bothering to shave my legs. I throw on my jeans and look myself over in the mirror and smile. I look more confident here lately and I am impressed with myself. Only a few more days of finals and work then we can move to Seatle and put our feet firmly down.

I pick up my angel and walk to the kitchen and set her down with a bowl of oatmeal and fruit. She shoves the banana oatmeal in her mouth fast as I get her stuff ready for school. I smile at her and she blows me a kiss and finishes her food. Kate follows shortly with a cup of coffee and smiles at us.

"Ready for today?" Kate asks us, and we giggle as we realize she isn't wearing pants.

"Aunt Kate! You need pants on!" Pheobe giggles and snorts. Kate blushes and laughs with us as she goes to get her jeans from the couch. She puts them on fast and picks up her purse and books. Our normal routine. Pheobe to school, then us to school. Then after school, a workout at our favorite gym, then get Pheobe from school as I get to work.

"Remember Kate, I work till close tonight so please make sure missy here gets her room cleaned up, and don't use your charm on her. I'm on to you, two." I say as I eye them both as they try and look innocent at me. I shake my head and smile as we all get our shoes on and head out the door for our day.

The hours drag on, test after test, and our same routine till I end up at work. I even managed to call Ray and mom, and let them know of graduation and how Pheobe, Kate, and I are doing. Ray was the only one who seemed really interested in graduation, but I know mom is trying too.

"Ana, when you can I need help in the back getting stuff sorted out!" Clate yells at me from the back. I shake my head and head towards the back, but before I can step any further my feet are glued to the floor. In front of me, is the man that I can't seem to shake. A pair of gray eyes fall onto mine, and a sly smile forms on his lips.

"Anastasia, what a surprise. I was at the university and realized we needed a few things and someone mentioned this place so I thought I'd stop by and pick them up." Christian says to me as he walks to me. I can't breathe. Why is he so sexy?

"Uh yeah, sure. What can I help you find, sir?" I try and even my breathing as he gives me a look that I know well. I bite my lip and try and calm my nerves.

"Yes, do you stock cable ties?" He says, his breathing matching mine. I walk him over to where we have the cable ties and hand him a gray set that matches his eyes.

"Oh, and rope please, and tape." He says, his voice becomin a tad husky as I bite my lip harder. I can't let this man get to me. I can't let him try and over take my mind. I won't be powerless. I am strong.

"Yes we do, follow me please." I say and hold my breath till I hand him the rope and tape. I just want him to leave. I can't do this. I drop my eyes as fear starts to creep up into my body. I can't let him hold onto me. I am strong.

He leans in after saying something and I flinch back, as I realize what I did I am horrified. I can't believe I flinched at this gorgeous man. "I'm sorry. I just get jumpy sometimes, is there anything else I can do for you, sir?" I say back evenly. I slow my breathing down and hold his gaze. I am strong.

"No, it's my fault forgive me. I believe that will do it. Also, was Miss Kavanagh happy with the answers I gave for the interview?" He says as he hands me the cash for the purchase.

"Yes she was, she is a little sad she doesn't have any original stills of you though." I say as I put everything in his sack and hand it to him.

"Well I'm staying near by, here" he hands me his business card "let's set up something and maybe grab a coffee after?" The look he gives, is the same as mine. Control. He wants to stay.

"That would be fine, but um, I have something I must confess." I say to him, uneasy.

The look he gives me is one of doubt and fear. I hope he doesn't mind what I'm fixing to tell him. "Mr. Grey, I have a daughter and she is six almost seven and she would have to come with us if we went." I blurt out. I slam my hands on my mouth as I realize I just blurted that out. Why me, why?

"That would be fine." He says to me as he takes my hand and kisses it. I can't believe my eyes. Did he really just do that? I can't stop biting my lip as he winks and tells me to call him soon. I soon head back and finish my work day and try and get color back to my face. The famous billionare/hotty has asked me and my daughter for coffee. Am I dreaming this? I lock the door to Clayton's and head home thinking about everything.

"Kate! Pheobe! I'm home! I yell as I put my keys down and hug my little girl. Pheobe is all excited about a picture she drew and shows me as I sit down at the table. Kate hands me a cup filled with English tea and smiles.

"Spill it sister, you are blushing and I want to know why." She says as she sits across from me. I smile and tell her everything.

"He wants you girl! He even doesn't mind Pheobe! That's great, call him so we can set up a date for the shoot and so you can see prince charming!" She swoons as we all chuckle.

I pick up my phone and gaze at the number. I can't believe I'm so nervous about a phone call. I hit dial and the phone starts to ring, "Hello, Grey." He says very business like.

"Um, hi, it's Ana- or uh Anastasia. Would tomorrow afternoon be okay for a shoot? I don't work tomorrow and we will have a photogropher for the shoot." I blurt out fast. Please don't let him hang up.

"Sounds great, I'll text you the location that I'm staying and I'll dress formal." He says, and my heart skips.

"Mommy! I want to say hi to the man!" Pheobe pouts beside me and I can't help but give in.

"Hi Mr. Man! My name's Pheobe and I'm six! My mommy is smiling at me right now," I take the phone before she can say anything else.

"Well, uh, we will see you tomorrow. Thanks Christian!" I say and quickly hang up. Pheobe laughs at my face and I tackle her into a hug as Kate starts to blast out with laughter. I can't believe my luck today. Two more days and Pheobe and I can start a new life. A life where no one knows us, or me.

Tonight I have a feeling I will be dreaming of a pair of gray eyes and a sly smile. Maybe a man who won't look at me like I'm a freak. Who won't see my daughter as a horrible reminder of the past. I just want someone to love us like no other. I have a feeling I should give Ray and Dr. Flynn a call about what I'm going through.

**Thanks for reading! Next chapter coffee with Ana and Pheobe and the end of finals party! See you guys soon ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow you guys are awesome :) thanks for all the positivity and awesome ideas and since I've had a massive amount of suggestions for Christian's POV this chapter will be in his view. I promise I won't take this long to update again.**

**Once again I own nothing! Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER 3: COFFEE**

Christian POV

I can't stop thinking about her, and that body. How can a woman that sexy have birthed a child? I need to have her, she's so sexy and all I can think about is having her in my playroom. Biting, kissing, and spanking her would leave me with an even harder dick then I have right now. I need to calm down and think about other things.

I wonder what her daughter is like, I've seen pictures of her and her daughter through Taylor watching over her at work and home. The only thing I can't understand is who she is seeing for therapy. What have these two gone through that requires therapy? I have so many questions for them both to answer but right now I just need to make it through this photo shoot and they are all mine to question.

I look over my outfit, grey suit and gold cuff links with CG on them. Seems appropriate. I hope Anastasia approves, or is it Ana, I can't seem to remember which one she prefers. I hope I don't scare her daughter. My own childhood was so horrible before the Grey's took me in. I can't mess this up if I want a chance to be with _her_.

"Mr. Grey, your meal has been delievered. Would you like me to tip?" Taylor says to me as I fix my tie.

"Please Taylore, and just leave it on the table. We will be leaving after I eat." I say to him. He nods his head and shuts the door and leaves to talk with the man at my hotel room door.

I look over the food and make eat the eggs and toast. I can't remember the last time I was nervous about a photo shoot, or to see a woman. _Breathe Grey, you got this._ I keep chiding myself as I eat my breakfast quickly and brush my teeth. I don't want to scare them away. I want them to see I am normal, well not normal but normal as I can be.

I make my way to the elevator and go to the ground floor. I make my way to the galia the hotel offers for guests to have parties or confrences. I see Anastasia, she is wearing a tight dress with some tighter leggings. Her body makes my dick start to harden. _Not yet Grey, please. Take it easy._ I distract myself by looking at the photogropher who is making Miss Steele and her daughter laugh. Her daughter looks exactly like her. Same hair color, face features, and blue eyes. She looks so beautiful, just like her mother.

I smile at them as I walk in, walking over to Miss Steele and her daughter. Her daughter looks star struck, and shys into her mother. Have I already frightened her? Is she afraid of men. I remember her talking to me last night, she seemed so happy then.

"Miss Steele, gorgeous as ever. Who may this beauty be in your arms." I say politely extending my hand for her daughter to shake. Please, don't tell me she hates me already. Or, is the photogropher her father? Anastasia never mentioned a husband or boyfriend.

"This is my daughter Pheobe. She is shy around people at first but she will open up." She says to me while holding her daughter. She gives her a soft kiss on the forehead and smiles at her. They both look so happy.

"Oh! This is my friend Jose, he's going to be taking the photos and this is.." Before Miss Steele can finish, another woman, a very head strong one at that extends her hand and smiles at me.

"I'm Katherine Kavanagh. Nice to meet you Mr. Grey and thank you again for the stills. I hope that this goes by smoothly. A little lady won't stay still for long." she shakes my hand and looks over to Pheobe. The photogropher, um Jose it is I think, looks at me and sizes me up. I raise an eyebrow at him and walk over to where he will be shooting.

"Mr. Grey, uh could you stand there and look relaxed we will do a few standing," Jose says to me, a little timid at that, and pulls up his camera.

"I want some sitting as well, if you will Mr. Grey." Katherine says over Jose as he starts to take pictures.

I look over at Anastasia and Pheobe. They are running around and laughing, they seem so carefree. I smile a little to myself and watch them when I can steal glances. Just watching them makes me remember days when I was like that with Mrs. Grey, when I first came to their house. How scared I was of everyone, but how secure I felt with them. My adoptive parents were patient with me, and they loved me every step of the way.

"Mr. Grey, could we get some sitting poses now?" Katherine says to me, breaking my concentration.

"Of course, just tell me where to go." I say with a smile, Anastasia steals a glance at me and smiles. A small blush forming on her cheeks. God, I wish I could touch that cheek. I start to sit and do what Katherine asks of me, wanting desperately to be done.

"Mommy look what I can do!" Pheobe yells over to Anastasia as she starts to roll around the floor laughing. Anastasia seems to enjoy what her daughter is doing. She truly loves that child.

I keep posing and moving, trying to make it through this. I never really liked all the publicity that comes with being a billionare, nor the constant questions and photos but doing this, for her, it makes it bareable. I see Pheobe running around more and finally she runs up to me and smiles really big.

"Mr. Man can I have a picture with you? Maybe mommy too? I don't have any pictures with any of mommy's friends. Only aunt Kate." She says up to me while crawling in my lap. I stiffen. She's touching the scars, the lash marks and I know I won't be able to do this long. I smile the best I can and nod.

"Hurry Jose! He will move soon!" Pheobe screams at Jose, who smiles at Pheobe and takes our picture. Soon she jumps down, and I can breathe. This is going to be difficult. I don't know if I can do this now. The touching, the randomness of a child. I don't know if I can mentally prepare for this, but Anastasia is smiling so brightly at me. I can feel something deep in my cold fucked up heart.

I move and shake Jose and Kate's hands and move over to Anastasia. She is tickling Pheobe and laughing with her. They seem to be in their own little world. I don't deserve this world. I don't deserve a girl like her. I'm gonna have to find a way to turn her down and not hurt her feelings, but I don't want to let her go. I have never felt so conflicted in my life.

"Anastasia, are you ready for coffee? I know that Miss Pheobe here must be hungry after running around for two hours." I say to her kissing her hand softly. Her soft skin, her blue eyes, I want them so much but I don't deserve this. I need to make an appointment with Flynn soon.

"Yes we are, there is a small cafe around the corner that we saw if you want to go there." Anastasia says to me, still holding her blush and Pheobe. Pheobe's stomach starts to rumble and she starts to giggle.

I hold out my hand, letting her lead the way as she sets Pheobe down. The smallest gestures she makes seem so eligant. I need to ask her everything but I know it will be difficult with her daughter here. I just hope I can have her ask my questions about Pheobe. It is so strange, but not in this day in age, for a single mom to not mentioin anything about the father.

After a short walk we arrive at the cafe, a small quant one at that. Perfect. No one is here really and it will help calm my nerves. As we walk in and to the counter, Pheobe starts to move around and says she is really hungry. I laugh as Anastasia picks her up and calms her down. We order and I pay, to much arguement, and we take our seats.

"So, I can see the look on your face. Just ask." Anastasia says rolling her eyes, as she gives her muffin to Pheobe, who is jumping in her seat. To have that energy would be nicce.

"Anasta-" before i can finish she cuts me off with her hand in the air.

"Please Mr. Grey, call me Ana." She says with a smile and nods for me to go on with my questions. Please don't let her run away, although she should. I can't be the man she needs in her life.

"Ana, I don't want to be rude but is the photographer Pheobe's-" Again before I can finish Ana starts to laugh. She is shaking her head as she gives Pheobe part of her sandwich.

"Mr. Grey, Pheobe's father is not her life or mine. Jose is just a dear friend I've known for a long time. My father is friends with his father." Ana says fast her face turning red. Something in her eyes speaks of pain and I know now I shouldn't have asked.

"I'm sorry, I should not have assumed," I say back to her. I feel like an idiot. What is this girl hiding from me.

"It's okay Mr. Grey, you wanted to ask I could see it in your eyes." she remarks. Her eyes haven't left her tea cup since we sat down.

"Ana, if you want to tell me anything you can. I promise I don't judge." I don't want this beautiful girl in pain. I can see the tears she is holding back. What has she gone through to make her like this?

I try to touch her hands to calm her but she jumps back from me and shakes her head. I am losing her, I knew I didn't deserve a girl like this. Is her past really that bad?

"Mr. Grey it's not that. I have had a rough life, but in it I got the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for. I don't like to dwell on it, and Pheobe helps me cope, also seeing Flynn-" She then cuts off, again hiding her eyes from me with her hair. Is she embarressed. Wait. Did she say Flynn?

"Flynn? You mean John Flynn?" I ask her, trying to keep things casual enough but not prying at the same time. I could see in her eyes that she wanted to go.j

Pheobe started to do a weird dance, that I assume meant she needed to use the bathroom. Ana smiled sweetly at her and picker up, not making eye contact or answering my question. I think I really fucked this up. Of course I probably did, I don't deserve a girl like her, or her daughter.

"One second I will be right back," She says to me while taking Pheobe to the bathroom. Phoebe must have asked a question that made Ana blush because before they entered, she turned a different shade of red all together and bit that lucious lip. God, she is one sexy woman.

I wait for them to come back and ready to leave, I know things are going a little wobbly with this but I don't care I want to know more. I want to know Ana. I see the pain in her eyes. What has the girl gone through to cause so much anguish and the no touching? Could it possibly be something like what happened to me, happened to her?

After Ana returns she sits down with Pheobe in her lap, on the verge of falling asleep and looks at me with serious eyes. Her blue eyes like crystals, and the pain that was there is no more but replaced by something different. What is that?

"Mr. Grey I am very sorry to ask this but, I need to know what you think of a girl like me. An unwed mother, who has never dated a single day in her life. A girl who is afraid to trust anyone because of one person in her past. Do you think I'm damaged?" She says softly, keeping eye contact. She looks scared but she is keeping her back straight, staying strong.

I can't help but want to kiss her and make her feel better. What is the girl doing to me. I straighten up, put on my billion dollar smile and pat her free hand. If I want to keep her around, then I need to make this sound right.

"Anastasia, you are a beautiful and devouted mother. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have you. As for being damaged, you are not damaged in the least bit. Trust me. We can always finish this over a dinner date, but right now I'd like for you to get home. I can see your daughter is tired, as am I." I stand up and close my jacket. I want to see her again, but will she let me?

"I feel like you are trying to say goodbye permintatly," she whispers. God my poor Ana. Who could break this girl so bad?

"Ana I am on a differnt planet, but I want to see you agian. Both of you. Please, have dinnner with me. You name the place and time, and I will pick up and take you on a real date, but I must warn you, I am not a flowers and hearts man. I have a different world about me, but I want to see you both again. Please?" I try and beg without sounding to desperate. I want to know her, everything about her. I want to kiss those lips, and take away the tears. God, I want to be the man she needs.

"Thank you Mr. Grey, but I will have to think on it. Thank you for lunch, I will call you soon," then she walks away, Pheobe in arms past out. She doesn't say anything else.

I think I messed up bad. I want to see her again, but I think I lost her. I must do something special for her and Pheobe. I don't deserve her, but something about her makes me want to be around. I don't think I could be the father Pheobe needs and deserves but I want to try. I need to see Flynn, and my mom. I can't believe the famous Christian Grey, finally needs his mother's advice.

I call Taylor to bring the car around, and when he does he opens the door for me and nods. I can see he has a question on his mind but he is being polite. I look out the door as we make our drive back to the hotel. Finally, after what seems like hours he coughs and looks at me in the mirror.

"Mr. Grey, sir, may I be bold enough to say something about Miss Steele?" The way he says it is like a protective father, this is new for him.

"Of course Taylor, what is it?" I say back, holding my hands in my lap.

"Mr. Grey, I think you should leave Miss Steele alone. I know what happened with her and how she came about her child, and I'm telling you as a father myself you need to let her be." He opens my door, after parking on the top floor in the garage. I can't believe this coming from Taylor.

"Was it that bad?" I ask taking my jacket off as we make our way to my room.

"Sir, once I show you everything, you will understand," we finally make it to the elevator as Taylor hands me a folder with everything about Ana. The first page I pull up is a protection file against someone that was placed by Ray Steele, and then it all makes sense.

"Holy fuck," is all I mutter as I read on. My poor Ana.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks everyone for the reviews, I thought everyone might like the chapter. I have had a few PMs and I'm sorry it took so long to update. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I own nothing, but here is the next chapter, ENJOY :D**

**CHAPTER 4 **

PHEOBE POV

Mommy seems to be crying again, her dreams make her do that sometimes. I wish I could do something to make her feel better. She said we may not see the man again, Mr. Grey mommy was calling him. I liked him. He was nice, and bought me food. I thought mommy liked him, too. She keeps saying how nice he was, polite I think is what she kept saying to Aunt Kate. I want to see him again, he looks like he makes momma happy.

I can hear momma crying again. She keeps talking about a bad man. Grandpa said he hurt momma a long time ago. I don't like when momma cries. I get out of my bed and take Mr. Fluffy with me. I don't like not having Mr. Fluffy with me. I think maybe I should get mommy a Mr. Fluffy. Maybe she won't be so sad anymore.

I try and climb into bed without waking mommy. I don't want her to be sad anymore. I get close to her and kiss her forehead. I see a smile on her face now. Don't worry mommy, I won't let anyone hurt you. I won't let the monsters get you.

ANA POV

He's back, he's closing in. I can hear the yells, the smell of tainted beer. I can't hold in my fear anymore. I can't hold back the cries. Please, someone help me. Before the door can open in my dream, I wake to a kiss on my forehead. Pheobe is here again. I smile but keep my eyes closed. Nothing will take her away. No one will ever make me feel afraid ever again.

After sleeping soundly for the rest of the night, I climb out of bed before my alarm can go off. I get in the shower and hum to myself. I need to see Flynn soon. The nightmares are getting worse and I don't want Pheobe to see me like this. I don't want her to hear the fear he has brought me. Yet, I also catch myself thinking about _him_.

His eyes are imprinted in my brain. They are so beautiful, but hold so much pain. What have you gone through Christian? Was it something like me? I keep thinking about everything he said two days ago. He wants to go on a date, but I don't know if I can do that. I feel like he wants to stay but something deep down is telling him to run.

"Mommy, I'm hungry." Pheobe says while rubbing eyes. She's carrying around her cow again. Something must have upset her lately.

"Yes, let me get dressed. I love you, sweetie." I smile at her and kiss her head as she walks out to the kitchen.

I quickly throw on a button up shirt and roll up the sleeves, grab my jeans, then put on my favorite flats. Between working all day, then packing up the apartment, I have my work cut out for me. Luckily Ray is coming in to see Pheobe for the weekend, so we get to celebrate post graduation. A night out is what I desperately need.

"Okay, what smells so good?" I ask as I walk in the kitchen. I smile, seeing my girls eating chocolate donuts and pigs. They look at me with chocolate faces and smile.

"Mommy! Aunt Kate got us breakfast! She even got me chocolate milk!" Pheobe squeals as she drinks more. I chuckle at her and take a pig for myself.

"Are you ready to see Grandpa today?" I ask, only to have Pheobe jump up and down clapping her hands. After watching her do her happy dance, the knock came at the door that I knew would this early. Ray is the early riser after all.

I go get the door, and see a handsome smiling man pulling me in for a hug. "Hi dad! Are you ready for your weekend with the chocolate monster?" I ask as he walks in. He doesn't get three feet before a hyper little girl jumps into his arms and he pulls her in for a hug.

"Hi honey, are you ready for your fun weekend? I figured we'd go to the carnival then a movie and see Cinderella. How's that?" Ray asks, and Pheobe is just a bundle of wiggles and squeals. Knowing I have Ray to protect me and her warms my heart. I have that one person to keep us sane.

"Okay, here's her stuff. I'm fixing to leave for work. Come see me if you guys can." I tell Ray as I hand him all of Pheobe's stuff for the weekend.

"Don't worry pumpkin, we will be fine. We are going to have so much fun that by the time I bring her home, she will be out for days." Ray gives me a hug, and I give Pheobe the biggest hug I can. I kiss her on the cheek, and tell her I love her. A small tear falls from my eyes, as I think about being away from her for a weekend.

I wave bye to them as Ray buckles her into her seat, and waves back. I know he will keep her safe. He would die before anyone could hurt her. I close the door and grab my keys for work. I just want to get through this day in one piece.

"Kate! I'm off! I'll see you after work, and please remember I don't want to drink to much tonight okay?" I say as I walk out the door to hear her laugh and shut the bathroom door.

I can do this. Just a few hours then I will be probably to drunk to remember my own name knowing Kate. She always finds a way to get me to drink way more then I want to. I turn the key in the car, and hear her purr as I shut the door and put on a smile. I make my way to Clayton's with hope that nothing will go wrong today.

"Kate! This is to much make-up! I feel like my lips are going to be saturated for weeks!" I yell at Kate as she pours herself and I another glass of wine.

"You look hot! Come on, last drink then we will head out. The taxi should be here any minute." Kate says as she chugs her wine down. I take a big drink and breathe. It's been so long since I've been out.

Soon, we are at the bar. Shot, after shot, after shot of tequila. I can feel my guts wanting to rip apart inside. Jose, keeps playing drinking games and having me be his partner. He keeps getting closer and closer, and I keep hoping Kate with step in but she seems to be distracted by the bartender.

Finally, after what is my fifth shot, my bladder feels like it is going to burst. I get my barings and get up from my seat to make my way to the bathroom. Jose stops me, and looks at me funny.

"I gotta pee," I yell back as I walk to the bathroom. The room is sort of spinning and it takes all the strength I have to get there without falling down. As I stand in line, I go through my messages and see mom has texted again, and called twice. I need to call her, but a name catches my attention and I can't help but press dial.

"Hello, Grey." His voice sounds like an angel, but I need to stay focused. I don't want him to know I'm here drinking. I don't want him mad. Wait, why do I care?

"Yeah, hey. I just wanted to say, it's rude to not call a girl when you say you are going to. If you don't like me just say it," I slur as my body hits the wall. My world is still spinning.

"I have been busy. Have you been drinking Miss Steele? You sound different." He says and I can hear the frustration in his voice.

"Maybe, maybe not. You'll never find me anyways." I say, and he is getting irritated by me, but I don't care. I want to know why he seems like he doesn't want to be around me.

"Tell me where you are, I'll come get you." He says, authority in his voice and it makes me chuckle.

"Sorry, you'll never find me. Goodbye, Christian." I say and hang up before he can say anything else. I smile at myself. I did a good thing for myself. I will be strong.

Suddenly my phone starts to ring, and I can't seem to read the name. I hit accept on the phone and put it up to my ear, "Hello?" I say nervously. Please, don't let it be him.

"I'm coming for you now." He says, then hangs up. Oh shit. Christian is on his way to get me. No. He can't see me like this. Please, god, no.

I finish peeing then make my way outside to get some air. I hope this helps sober me up. Maybe I can have Kate take me home before he gets here, or I can call a taxi. He's got to come from Seatle anyway. That gives me over an hour.

"ANA!" Jose yells as he runs to me with my jacket. I put it on and warm myself up. I never knew it was this cold outside, but it seems to help the headache and spinning. Jose wraps his arms around me and stares at me. The touching. I can't do this touching.

"Jose, please. I'm fine. Go back in before you get sick." I say trying to push him off. He holds me tighter and memories are flooding back. No. I can't do this. I can't have this.

"Ana, please, you know I like you. Please just one kiss. I have had feelings for you for as long as I can remember." I keep trying to push him off and laugh nervously. Please, someone help me. I can't do this, I don't like this feeling.

Jose then crashes our lips together, hurting my mouth and teeth. Please, god, kill me. He tries to pry my lips and teeth with his tongue, but before he can succeed he's gone and I'm coughing getting air back to my lungs. I welcome the vacancy I have around me, but now I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I look up at my hero, and I can not believe my eyes. It's him, it's my Christian. He's got Jose far away from me yelling at him. I can't make out what they are yelling about because my stomach decides to vacate everything at that point and I throw up all over the beautiful flowers by the door.

"Shit, Ana, are you okay?" Christian says as he holds my hair back and rubs my back. The feeling isn't like with Jose. It's warm and comforting.

"No, please go away. I just want to lay down." I say back, holding my stomach and mouth. Christian growls at himself and takes my hand.

"Come on, I'm taking you with me." he says as he leads me inside.

"Wait! I need to tell Kate!" I shout back, holding in the last bit of solids in my system. I can't believe tonight.

"I already have it under control. My brother is with your sister, so please let's go." Christian leads me to the front but I put as much strength as I have into wanting to see Kate.

"Please, she has my stuff." I say back, pulling him to her.

"Fine, I'll get it. Stay here. I don't want that photographer near you." He mumbles as he walks over to Kate, and who I presume is his brother. He says something to them, and Kate whispers something in his ear. I smile, I know what she is probably going to say.

My world starts to become hazzy as he makes his way back to me, I can feel my body becoming limp. Before I completely black out I look at Christian and smile, "Mr. Grey, I guess I'm all yours but I think I'm going to faint." Then everything goes black, and all I hear last is him say, "God damn it, Ana."

**Leave some comments and I promise I will update soon :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**To everyone I am so sorry, I have had a lot happen the past month and planning vacation and school stuff for my kids. In response to all of your wonderful comments I will make this long to make up for the wait. Please, enjoy this as much as I did writing it :)**

**FOREVER YOURS**

**Chapter 5:**

**ANA POV**

_The room. It's to bright. Why is it so bright? Why is the doctor looking at me funny? Where's Ray? Why can't anyone tell me what's going on? The bed is getting colder, and my legs are starting to hurt from being in the holsters. I just want to go home._

_ "Mr. Steele, it is confirmed. She is pregnant. I'd say nine or ten weeks. I'm sorry if this is the news you didn't want. We have a wonderful clinic that can help if that be your choice." The doctor isn't making sense! I'm pregnant? That man, that monster, he did this to me. Why couldn't mom protect me?_

_ "Ana honey, I'm taking you home okay?" Ray says to me. Tears fill my eyes. Please dad, don't let them hurt me._

_ "I want to keep the baby, dad. Please, don't let them hurt us." I whisper into Ray. Please hear me. Protect us Ray from the world._

_ "Don't worry Ana, I will never let anyone hurt you ever again." I slip into black as Ray wheels me out in the chair._

I wake in a bed, far more comfortable then mine. The room smells so good. Like waffles and coffee. My stomach starts to pain and I run to the bathroom as I vomit once again. I hold my stomach as I let myself get rid of all the alcohol that was left. I will never drink like this again. Ever.

"Ana, are you okay?" I hear his voice. My hero. The man who saved me from Jose.

"I'm okay, just a little sick. I'm sorry, give me a minute." I say back. I start the shower and slip in. I didn't notice that all my clothes except my bra and panties are gone. I guess I must have throw up on those, or he took advantage of me.

I let the thought fly from my mind, of course he wouldn't like a girl like me. I'm to broken. I'm not even that beautiful. I look at my hands and stomach. At the stretch marks I've carried for so long. I let myself sit on the floor and let the water wash over me. I need this. I need the comfort to let myself relax.

I wash away all my worries, and clean my hair that still has a little bit of alcohol in it. The warmth covers my skin, and I wonder what Christian is doing right now. Is he worried? Is he wondering if I'm okay? I really want to tell him everything, but how can I?

"Ana, please, are you okay? Do I need to come in there?" Christian yells through the door, a trace of panic is in his voice. I smile and turn off the water.

"I'm fine, Mr. Grey. Please, I will be out in two seconds." I say back and I can hear him exhale. This man, this beautiful man, is worried about me. I go to the mirror and look at myself. I look so plain. My eyes are dark, the blue turning crystal again. The memories are taking over.

I grab his tooth brush and start to brush my teeth. I don't want my breath to stink, even though he's seen me completely vulnerable. I still don't want him to see me all the way broken. Will he accept me? Will he still want me?

I grab my cell phone that is on a towel he must have put in here. I decide i need to call Ray and Kate. I want to see how Pheobe is. I miss her so much. Sleep isn't the same without her feet kicking me.

"Hey dad, it's me, how is Pheobe doing?" I ask as I can hear Pheobe squealing that her tv show is on. I chuckle as Ray laughs at her before answering me.

"We are fine kiddo. She misses you very much. Also, we need to talk later okay? It is very important." He says and all traces of amusement and laughter have left his voice.

"Okay dad, I love you both. I should be home around six if that's okay." I say, the worry is thick in my voice and I know he can hear it. Ray knows me so well.

I can hear his clear his throat, signalling me that Pheobe is listening. "I will Ana, we love you and we will talk over dinner okay?" It must be important. I say my I love you's and hang up to call Kate.

I press her name and it dials. After four rings it goes to voicemail which is not like Kate. She always picks up for me. I guess she's still sleeping. I set down my phone and dry my hair. I need to prepare myself. Then I remember, I have no clothes! I put my bra and panties back on and cover with a towel. My face is already turning red. What if he doesn't like what he sees? He will surely hate me when he sees the stretch marks, cuts, and burns on my body.

I open the door and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing I guess. I open the door, and Christian is shirtless staring out the window over the city. His back, my dear god, it looks like mine. The scars, the burns. My poor Christian, who did this to you? Does he know about mine?

I clear my throat and I see he's on the phone. He looks over at me, and raises an eyebrow at me. I'm in only a towel, and my face is red. I wonder what he's thinking. He turns fast and clutches his fist so maybe he is having some of my thoughts as well.

"Taylor, I need the clothes. Plus, I know Miss Steele must be hungry." He then hangs up and walks over to me with a soft smile. My breath hitches and I know he must see my legs pressing together. This man makes me have feelings I have never experienced.

"Miss Steele, I'm glad you are feeling better. Please, join me for some orange juice and some tylenol." He leads me to the couch and lets me sit as he gives me some orange juice.

"Thank you Mr. Grey. Um, we didn't, well you know.." He must see in my eyes, and laughs and shakes his head.

"Unconcious girls are not my thing, plus I like my women awake and aware of the adventure that is coming to hand." I raise my eyebrow and he laughs again and waves it off.

"I'll explain everything later." He says then gives me the tylenol that I so desperately want. My head hurts and I just want the pounding to stop, but my heart won't stop beating out of my chest. What is it about this man that makes me feel so different?

"Why did you come and get me?" I ask. I want to understand why he didn't want me, then came to my rescue.

"I came because I can't stay away. I have never met someone like you. You make me want to open up my world. I don't want to play safe. I want to be selfish for once." He says then hands me some toast.

At that moment, Taylor comes in and hands me a bag and smiles. He has a warm aura about him. He then hands me some food and I am so grateful. "Thank you Taylor, will you bring the car around. I want to see Miss Steele home before my meeting." Christian says, and Taylor nods and walks out.

"Are you free tonight? I would like to speak with you more if that is okay? Dinner with you and Pheobe?" I inhale a little. He wants to see us both? He really wants to see us?

"I have dinner plans with my dad tonight, but maybe dessert?" I say, inside I'm hoping it is okay. I don't want him to run away.

He smiles and puts a hair that has flown into my face behind my ear. The look in his eyes, I know the look but I'm not afraid. I don't want him to stop. "Of course Ana, that would be wonderful. Now get dressed and eat some. I will be outside." He then kisses my forehead and grabs his shirt. He winks at me, then leaves the room.

My heart is about to burst, and something deep inside has awakened. I want this man, I want everything about him, and in some weird way he wants me. I don't want this day to end. I changed fast, and put on my jacket so that I can cover myself a little. Taylor has great taste in clothing.

I open the door and see Christian smiling at me. He then grabs my hand and walks us to the elevator. He hasn't spoken a word, but deep inside I know that he wants to ask something. When the doors open, we walk inside and something sparks. The air electrifies before the doors can close.

My world starts to spin, in a very new way, as the doors close and the feeling intesifies. Before we get down two floors I feel like I want to jump this man. When I look at him, he answers my deepest question.

"Fuck the paperwork, I need you." He says before pushing me against the elevator wall and kissing me so deeply. I don't want this to stop. My hands start to snake around him, but he pulls them above my head and with his free hand holds my hip with dear life. I lose myself in the kiss. The passion, the intesity. I don't want it to stop. I can't lose his hold.

Before we get down to far, the elevator stops, and he moves away from me, holding my hand. Two gentlemen walk in, and the air still stays electrified. Christian giggles and mumbles under his breath. I can't believe in a day, I went from no one, to a woman who wants the most elgible bachelor.

As we walk out of the lobby, Taylor has pulled around, and we enter the car. Christian then nods and we are off to my apartment. I can't believe the kiss. My legs press together at the thought of what could have happened. Christian smiles, then before I know it, we are there. I don't want to get out. I don't want to walk away from him.

"Until tonight Miss Steele," he says and kisses my hand. He zooms off and all I can think of is how the hell am I going to explain this to Kate.

**CHRISTIAN POV**

What am I doing? Kissing in public? Promising things? She's so beauitful and sexy, smart, and just so broken. Is it that she reminds me of myself? That I want to save her, to keep her happy? I want her to be mine, not just as a sub but as my woman. What am I doing?

Taylor finally looks back at me, and I can tell he has something on his mind. "Yes, Taylor?" I ask, the question seems to be stuck and he doesn't look like he wants to ask.

"Sir, if I may, I believe Miss Steele may take time. I know that I'm not supposed to pry, but can you be a father figure to that young girl's daughter? Can you be the man she can run to when she is scared?" Taylor's face reminds me of a scared child, speaking brave. That is why I keep this man around. He's firm, he keeps me safe, and he wants me to do better.

"I want to try. I want to be a better man Taylor. I want to be the man that she can rely on. I may have billions, fancy cars, and an elegant house but I want my life to be full. I see something in her that I just don't want to leave alone. She makes me see things in a new light. Taylor, am I going crazy?" I ask, and Taylor just shakes his head and smiles. The rest of the ride is in silence. I'm ready to see her again.

We pull into the college that my Ana will be graduating from and I meet with the Dean. He shakes my hand and smiles. He keeps with the small talk as we walk around the new agriculture building but all I can think of is her.

"Do you have a place for single mother's by chance? Like a daycare for their children, so while they are in class their children are taken care of?" I ask, and the Dean looks at me puzzled. I know I must sound crazy.

"No, sir we don't. We don't have the funds for something like that." He says and looks away.

"Well sir, I'm about to make your day then." I smile and we walk to his office. If my Ana ever needs help, I will be the one to help her. Even though she has already graduated, I want to help other's like her.

Hours go by, and a very generous donation to the college has made the Dean very happy. I'm ready to see Ana and Pheobe. I just hope that they are ready to see me. Taylor has already brought me a change of clothes, and I have freshened up some in the car. I look out at the apartment wondering what they will wear.

I finally get out and walk to the stairs that leads to their apartment. I hope I look all right. I can do this. I can do this. I finally knock on the door and I'm greeted by a pale white faced Ana. What has happened to her?

"Ana, what's wrong?" I ask, alarm in my voice.

"He's being realesed." Was the last thing she said before she fainted for a second time into my arms.


	6. Chapter 6

** Everyone I am so sorry about the late updates. I'm tyring to plan a wedding, write two stories, take care of two kids, and work 50 hours a week so I am stressed but today I have dedicated this chapter to everyone who has been waiting. Don't give up on me guys, I still have a lot to give you all, and thank you for the wonderful reviews. I'm so sorry about the grammer and I am trying to fix what I can from my phone. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 6**

PHEOBE POV

Mommy doesn't look very good. She looks like a ghost. I'm scared. She is still sleeping since she fell asleep in the man's arms. Grandpa must have made her unhappy. They made me close my ears to talk about something. I don't like this. I don't want mommy to hurt.

I look over and see the man talking on his phone to someone. He keeps calling the person, Taylor. He must be very important because he has been on the phone with him for a while. Aunt Kate made me some chicken nuggets and chocolate milk. She even put on my favorite music, same as mommy the piano and violin. The person, Bach, he must have been a great man. He made such pretty music. I bet he was a nice man.

"Taylor, I need you to keep an eye out here. I will be staying here for the night to look after Pheobe and Ana." The man looks scared too. I wonder what is going on. I can feel my eyes falling, and I am so tired. I want to sleep with mommy but she looks so pretty, like Sleeping Beauty. I don't want to wake her up.

I look over at the man, I wish I could remember his name. Maybe he's my new daddy. That would be cool. I would love to have a daddy. I smile to myself as I imagine having him for a dad. I bet he'd be great, and fast, and let me paint his nails. Yes, I want him as my daddy.

I yawn again and I look over once more at mommy. I hope she is having sweet dreams. I want to see her smile again.

CHRISTIAN POV

Pheobe keeps looking at Ana and I can see that she is thinking of her. How much does Pheobe know about Ana's past? Does she know her real dad? Probably not, Ana doesn't look like the person to hurt anyone's feelings.

Pheobe then walks over to me, crawls in my lap and hugs me. A soft smile forms on my face and I hug her back. "Are you tired Pheobe?" I ask her as I pat her head.

"No, I want to stay up with you and mommy. Is she going to be okay? She has been sleeping for so long." I want to tell her everything, how mommy is in pain, but the look in her blue eyes, it haunts me. I don't want to see her sad. Ever.

"Mommy will be fine. She had a long day, but I promise tomorrow we will do something fun." I give her another hug, and start to hum something I haven't hummed since my mother held me last.

It seems like hours go by as Pheobe sleeps in my lap, she keeps hold of my hand and won't let go. Would this be my days if I stay? Having her in my lap, watching Ana sleep? Would I be taking her to school, making lunches, picking her up? Can I be a dad? For so long, I was just content with myself.

I can see it, her coming home from school, showing me pictures, reports, bringing friends over. I can see me being there for her when she needs a friend, when she needs a father. I want to be that person for her, but can I do this? What right do I have to want to push myself onto this family. I don't know much about life, but I do know that it hurts to fall, but I don't want her and Ana to be alone anymore.

I shift my weight, and Pheobe stirs, opens her eyes and looks at me and smiles. She snuggles in and slowly falls back to sleep. "I love you dad," is all she says and is back asleep. I stiffin. Did she call me dad? What am I going to do? I hear someone gasp and look up to see Ana staring, covering her mouth.

"Ana, you're awake. Thank God, I thought you would be out all night. You scared me." I say as I walk Pheobe to her bed in her room. I lay her down and cover her.

"Did she call you 'dad'?" Ana looks so pale still. I don't want her to faint again so I walk over and hug her.

"Is it a bad thing?" I ask and see Ana shake her head, but she stiffins at my hug. I keep forgetting, the touch makes her uncomfortable at times.

"Christian, I'm so scared." She slowly puts her hands around my neck, and holds me bear tight. I can hear the cries forming within her.

I need to be this rock she can keep in her life. I don't want her to leave me alone, like she has felt all these years. I don't want her to shy away anymore. It's time she tells me everything.

"Ana, honey, shhh. Please, let's talk about this on the couch. I promise I won't go anywhere." I walk with her to the couch and the look in her eyes, tell me everthing. I already know a little about her past. I sense the same fear I felt all those years ago when I was young. I can't have her scared anymore.

"Where do I start?" She asks, I kiss her hands and whisper the only thing Flynn told me when I first saw him.

"Start from the beginning."

ANA POV

My heart is breaking, and my head hurts. How do I tell this goregous, intimidating, most understanding man everything I have been through? I sigh and start from the first part of my horrible past.

"It all started when I came to stay with my mom, and husband number three. He seemed nice at first, but even though I was young, I could tell something was off about him. He tried so hard to get me to like him, bought me things, let me eat whatever I wanted. He never tried anything, at first. Mom looked happy, but I wasn't. I felt uncomfortable, I felt like when they fought behind their closed bedroom door, one day it would blow up, and someone would get hurt." I stop to catch my breath. Christian just nods for me to continue.

"Years go by, the fighting continues, he starts drinking to drown my mom out. He starts telling me I need to clean, I don't need this or that. My homework can wait till after I cook, since my mom was a piece of shit and couldn't cook. He would raise his voice, and I was afraid to have friends over. I was afraid to come home." I look at Pheobe's door. I don't want to tell him about that night. I don't want him to think less of me.

"Ana, please I want to know." Christian looks me dead in the eye, and I see something spark. I can't place what it is, but I feel it deep inside.

"The last year I stayed with my mom, _he_ started to beat me. First, it was with his hand for not taking out the trash, failing a class, coming home late. Then, it went to everything. He used anything he could find, belts, shoes, beer bottles, one time I was sent to the hospital for a fractured rib because he used the beer bottle to my ribs for burning his dinner." I catch my breath and close my eyes, here it goes.

"The last night I stayed there, him and mom were fighting about how he put his hands on me. Mom tried to fight it, but he would hit her and she would hide away. This night, he told my mom she was nothing. He worked hard for her and me, and we needed to know that. He came into my room then told me, 'I'm going to make you feel like a real woman'. The smell of his body odor made me want to puke. I tried to run past him, but he grabbed my hair and threw me down. He pulled his pants down all the way, and told me to be quiet." My voice catches, but I keep going. Never once opening my eyes.

"After he was done, I grabbed the bat I had hidden under my pillow. It was just a small one, but I used all my strength. After I hit him, there was a little blood, but not like me. There was so much, I.. I thought I was dying. I took off. I didn't know where to go, but I did what I could. I called Ray, my adopted dad, but my dad none the less. He told me to go to the police and he would be there soon. So, I ran to the police station and when I did, an officer came out and took me to a room. A female officer listened to what I told her, and held me as I cried. Soon as Ray got there, I was transported to the hospital for a rape kit. I was so young. I was 15, but I didn't know what was going to happen to me." My heart was huring. Christian looked so upset and I knew he was either going to run or be angry.

"Two months later, John was put in jail for rape and child abuse. A month after that, I found out I was pregnant with Pheobe. They wanted me to have an abortion, but I told Ray to keep us safe. I didn't want them to kill her. I didn't want her to suffer for my faults. I never told her about her dad. She has never asked and I don't want her to. Please, Christian, I never wanted to say anything to anyone. Everyone back home knew, they knew about him. No one ever wanted to keep me safe. Ray was working so much, but after that, he took care of us. I graduated school, and when I met Kate, she never once thought any different of me. I love Pheobe, and I just want her to have a happy life." I was crying and Christian, looked at the scars on my arms and neck. He knew.

"Ana, you are so beautiful. I would never think any less of you." Christian leans in and kisses me. He holds me so tight i feel like I will break if he lets go. Everything I am is being held together by him in this one embrace.

I don't know what to do anymore. I never expected him to come in my life. I never expected anyone to take me for who I was. I don't want this feeling to leave. I look at his upper arms, and I see burns and the question pops out before I can stop it.

"What happened to you?" I say as I touch the scars. He tenses but relaxes as he looks me in the eyes.

"That is a story for another night, tonight you and I are going to lay down and sleep. I have a very busy day tomorrow. I made a promise to a certain little girl, and I want to make sure I honor that." His face looks so soft and passive, but his eyes are angry. I don't want him to hurt, or be angry. I want him happy. I want him to be like Pheobe, and be free of the world. To never experience the pain it gives.

He carries me bridal style to my bed and tucks us in. He makes me roll over to my side, and kisses my hair. His embrace fills me again as he wraps his arms around me and hold on for dear life. This feeling, do I deserve to have this amazing guy be with me? After everything I told him, will he understand my life?

I look out the window to see the moon shining bright. For once, my life doesn't feel like I am treding water to stay alive. I feel like someone is helping me stay afloat. I don't want this for only me, but for Pheobe too. I want her to have a father that loves her. One that wants her entirely. My eyes droop and I can feel myself being carried to the dark world of dreams, but I swear I can hear Christian whisper softly just seconds before the darkness, "I love you Ana and Pheobe. I will protect you both forever."

**Soooo, I hope I made everyone happy. This chapter took a bit because I wanted to nail the pain Ana felt, the worry in Pheobe, and to make paint a picture. I hope you guys stay with me as next time, we have the play date!**


	7. Chapter 7

** I'm so sorry guys for the delay. Work is crazy, but you guys are awesome. Thank you for the reviews, and PMs. You will be happy to know I have a few surprises in store and that this Christian still has his DOM side, but well you will see ;) Enjoy everyone**

**Chapter 7**

CHRISTIAN POV

It's been three days since I last saw Ana and Pheobe. I had so much go through with this purchase for SIP and with the donation to the old college Ana went to. I promised the ladies I would make it up to them, and tonight I will.

I check myself in the mirror. My suit is perfect, clean cut, and presentable. I have my favorite grey tie on, and cuff links the shape of Hello Kitty for Pheobe. To find these damn things took an act of God, but I wanted to impress . I wanted to make her smile and be proud of me. Her and Ana have called three times every day just to talk to me, and face timed me at least twice a day as well.

Once more I look over myself, I can't let anything happen tonight. Tonight it will just be us, and I already have to much at stake for anything to come between this. I look at my watch, 6:25pm. Time seems to be going so slow today. I head to the hallway and walk to the spareroom that my subs once stayed in. The room, now pained pink and purple, is a princess and Hello Kitty theme. Toys, dolls, and a closet full of clothes ready for Pheobe to play in.

"Mr. Grey, the helicopter is ready sir and both Miss Steele and her daughter has arrived. They are coming up now." Taylor then turns around and I catch a hint of a smile on his face. I think he's happy I turned around some. I want to show Ana my playroom but not now. I want her to be comfortable and ready for that.

I head to the livingroom and wait for them to come up. Mrs. Jones has made a wonderful meal for us, and Taylor found my favorite red wine for dinner and chocolate milk. I hope they like it. It has been so long since I have had macaroni and cheese, grilled salmon, and steamed vegetables. I feel like a kid again, smelling the chocolate cake that she has also made for desert.

Everything about tonight, the past few days, has made me think of how I would love for this to be my family. I want Pheobe to come here, happy, playing and running around. I could teach her the piano, take Ana with me to the gym, to take them to have manicures and play days. Is this what it is like to have something to look forward to everyday? To want to come home? I keep having the thought in the back of my head, the thought that I don't deserve this. Do I really get to have a chance to be happy, or is it a dream?

Pulling myself away from the depression circling inside my mind, I see my girls coming from the elevator. They look beautiful, no that is an understatement, the adjective to describe how wonderful they look, with the smiles as well, escapes me. Ana, she looks as if she has walked off a movie set. Her hair, her chocolate hair, in small curls on her fair shoulders. Her lips, plump and shiny with gloss, and her eyes. Those blue eyes. Those eyes that remind me of the sky, the sea, of only her. Even my little Pheobe looks like a princess. A spitting image of her mother. Her brown hair, half pulled back, with thick curls around her. Even her eyes, bright as ever, amaze me. I don't want to see fear in her, I don't want her to be afraid of me.

"Christian, this place, it's stunning. I.. I feel so small inside it." Ana blushes and lets go of Pheobe's hand, as she runs and jumps in my arms. Her hug, the pain isn't there. The feeling of daggers that should be effecting me, it isn't there. I hug her tight and kiss her hair.

"Daddy! I made you a picture today! My teacher helped me!" Pheobe jumps from my arms and gets into her blue and purple backpack. I can't help but smile at how innocent she is. How I wish I could have had that sense of life in my childhood. How I would have loved to have had a real mother.

Pheobe runs back to me and her smile says it all. She hands me a picture of three people. She looks back at Ana and waves her over. Ana looks so amazing, but something about her makes me wonder if everything is okay.

"I made you, and me, and mommy. Oh! I also put a flower right here," she points to a red flower, "that's mommy's favorite flower. She loves red roses." Ana blushes as I laugh.

I pull Ana into my arms and hug her tight. I want her to know I'm here. I don't want her to feel afraid, uncomfortable, or intimidated. She pulls off and kisses my cheek, which takes me by surprise. I smile and kiss her forehead, which makes Pheobe giggle. I look over at Mrs. Jones and she waves me off. Dinner must still be a bit, but that reminds me of the treat I have instore for them.

I look over at Taylor, and he nods. I hope that they are not afraid of heights. Without saying anything I grab both of my girl's hands and walk them to the elevator. Pheobe smiles and walks with me, but Ana seems hesitant. I hope she likes the helicopter.

"I don't know if either of you have ever been in the air, but I want to take you in Charlie Tango. I have been flying for six years, and I want to share that with you both tonight." I smile as Taylor finishes the checks. Ana smiles and nods. Pheobe starts to squeal and jumps up and down. Her dress is flying and I can't help but think that this is the family I want.

I help Ana and Pheobe in, and harnass them tight. I don't want them to be afraid, but I want them safe just in case. I hop in and harnass myself, giving them both head sets and start my checks.

"This is Charlie Tango ready for take off, are we free and clear?" I say, and get the affirmative. The clouds have cleared, and the stars and moon look bright. The perfect night to fly, the perfect night to start a new life.

ANA POV

After the flight, my breath is caught. It was so wonderful, so amazing. It was like flying over a city so alive, and seeing everything in slow motion. Christian was so gentle and laughed and smiled the entire time. He kept Pheobe intriged and made her feel so comfortable the entire time. He never once got mad when she called him dad. He never once seemed upset. I don't know what will happen tonight, but I do know that my little girl deserves so much. She deserves to have someone that will protect her, be her father.

When dinner came to an end, I could see Pheobe start to yawn, and I wonder where she will sleep. I want to give her a bath before bed, but Christian said he had a surprise for her. I can only wonder what this man could do. Following behind Christian, Pheobe has my hand and has that curiousness in her eyes. She keeps looking at me for clues, but I just shake my head to let her know I have no idea what he has for her.

"All right ladies, close your eyes." Christian says, we close our eyes and he opens a door. We walk in and he closes it behind us. I honestly wonder what he got her. I hope it isn't anything to expensive. I can't afford much, and I have told him how uncomfortable I am about people buying me or Pheobe things.

"Open them," I couldn't believe my eyes. A room fit for a princess. A room made for my little girl. Pink and purple, toys, dolls, and her name. I haven't seen anyone do her name so beautifully. The letters in gold, with little pieces of pink sparkles to outline. This is over the top. I couldn't thank him enough for doing this.

"Christian. There isn't enough words to explain how beautiful this is." I am in utter shock. Pheobe can't contain herself. She screams and hugs him, thanking him and myself. I just smile as Christian thanks her and shows her around the room. I feel so small. I keep the smile, but inside I don't know how I can thank him for this. I feel like when we go home, Pheobe won't like it there. She will feel I can't give her what she wants. What kind of mom would I be?

"Ana, please, don't over think this. I want her, and yourself, to have everything you deserve. I don't want you both to go one day feeling like you aren't special." Christian kisses my cheek and holds me tight. My inner most self, losing some of the negativity. I hold him tight and I feel another tear fall.

"Pheobe, you have night clothes pulled out on the bed. I will read you a bed time story, whatever story you want. I think mommy needs a shower." Christian looks over to me with a smile, and I feel the peace he is trying to give me, but I feel a tense feeling inside as well. This is what someone did for me, so long ago. I need to know that this won't be like my past all over again.

"I would love story time too, if that's okay," I ask. They both look at me and smile. Christian steps out as I quickly bathe and change Pheobe, tickling her and listening to her go on about her room.

"Mommy, are we going to live here?" The question stuns me. What do I say? Yes? No? I don't know what the future brings, but I want it to have Christian. Will he accept everything? He has been so amazing since that night, but is it a front because he feels sorry for me? Should I run? The questions, filling my head and heart. Can I love him? Does he really love me?

"I don't know sweetie, but I do know that he cares about you a lot. Make sure we keep this room clean okay? Tomorrow, we will play dolls and watch movies, maybe we can see all the clothes he got you. How about that?" I ask, distracting myself.

Pheobe nods, and smiles at me. Christian knocks softly and enters with a book in his hand. He has taken off his suit coat and tie, and unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt. He looks so sexy, the kind of guy every woman dreams of. His grey eyes meet mine and I can feel the heat, the excitement, the peace he has.

"All right little lady, how about you take a seat in mommy's lap and I read you one of my favorites?" My angel crawls into my lap, and the story of three little pigs fires, and off to story land we go. Reading story after story, even till Pheobe falls asleep.

Christian puts her to bed, and pulls my hand to his bedroom. My body heats up, and my legs start to shake. I can feel like heart beating faster, and a little part of me is afraid. I don't know if I can do this. What if I'm no good? I have never been with anyone. My one and only time fills me and I start to panic. I can't do this. I can't bed with him just yet. I'm not ready.

"Ana, calm down. I'm not bringing you in here for that. Please, stop shaking. We won't do anything until you are ready, but tonight, I want to tell you about who I am. I want to tell you about my scars inside and out. If you want to leave, I will let you leave, but do me one favor and listen to everything first. The only person who has heard all this is Doctor Flynn, and has helped me." Christian holds my gaze, and my breath catches. Doctor Flynn? He sees him too?

I nod and hold his hands. I don't know what this man has been through, but tonight I want to know the secrets of Christian Grey. The image of his back and upper shoulders comes back to view in my mind. Who did these horrible things to you?

"Ana, well, my mother was a crack whore, and when I was five, I watched her pimp murder her," my heart slams in my throat and I see all the happiness drain from the beautiful grey eyes of Christian Grey.

**SOOOO cliff hanger, yes I know kill me later, but I wanted to leave it on something suspenseful. Next chapter, we learn of the real Grey and we also get a peak into what Ana will do ;) stayed tuned**


	8. Chapter 8

**To all my wonderful fans, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. I have had a few untimely things happen here recently and it has clouded my mind, BUT I am back and I hope you all will forgive me. NOW Chapter 8 :) I own nothing!**

**Chapter 8**

Christian POV

"I was only five years old when I saw the women that loved me, be murdered. She wasn't the best mother around, but she loved me in a small fucked up way." Ana, her blue eyes filling with tears. Don't cry baby, I'm not worth the tears.

"Ever since I could remember being with her, things were different. She hardly fed me, hardly hugged me, and kept to herself some days, but her pimp.. He made things even worse. He would hit me, burn cigars on my arms and back, cut me with knives he purchased to make sure they were sharp. My mother never yelled for him to stop, she only cried and did the drugs he gave her. He would lock me in the closet sometimes and rape her. I was forced to listen." I closed my eyes and shuddered at the memories. I could feel Ana shaking. Can you feel my pain?

I open my eyes and look at her and let go of her hold. I needed to feel some sense of control right now. I stand up and pace as I continue. "The night of the inncodent, my mother was letting me brush her hair as she sung to me. She said that she and I were leaving tonight. She had our things packed. She was done with it all. I remember her telling me she was sorry for being a horrible mother. I remember her shaking and telling me she wanted better for us."

I stop pacing and center myself. I need control. I look over at my beautiful Anastasia and she is lost in pain. Pain for me. I look away and hold myself tall. Damn it Grey, you haven't gotten this far to puss out now.

"When her pimp showed up, she had me hide before hand. A place where he couldn't find me, but where I could see everything. She had me hold the phone, she had somehow gotten it while her pimp was away. I was clutching it tightly, like it was my favorite toy trying to be taken away. She told me what numbers to press in case something happened." I looked at my hands, remembering the cold phone. Remebering the fear in me. Control Grey.

"When he showed up, my mother told him she had had enough. No more drugs, no more scars, no more rape. He was going to let us free or she would call the police and turn him in. He yelled and screamed, I closed my eyes when he started to hit her. He just kept hitting her, but she was fighting back. Then she pulled out a gun. She was going to get us free one way or another." Flashes started to play back, the smell of blood in the small space. The shaky voice of my mother. Why wasn't she strong enough to do it before?

Ana's eyes, the pain, she wanted to know. Before any tears could form in my eyes, I cleared my throat and kept going. "She told him to get out and leave the keys, or she was going to shoot him. She was moving back and forth, ready to pass out from the blows to her head and face. Then, she fell to her knees, and her pimp got the gone. He shot her. Not once, not twice, but five times. He threw the gun at her, and the last thing he said was 'Damn whore, when I find your son, I will do the same to him.' Some how I must have dialed 911 and the dispatcher on the other line heard everything and had already called out police and an ambulance."

I was shaking, the pain, the fear. The smell of blood and gun powder came back to memory. I flinched when Ana touched my arm. She back away slowly, tears filling her face. She was scared, but was it of me or the past?

"Christian, I am so sorry.. You.. Please, I should leave. I am of no help." She was running away. No! Ana, please!

"Wait! Don't go! Please," I wrap her in my hold and breathe in her smell, "I need you. You make the past go away. I don't fear you or Pheobe touching me. I don't cringe at the thought of being a father. Please, don't leave me," I'm crying into her. Understand my sweet Ana, I need you. I have never needed a women so much in my life other then my mother. I need the grounding you give.

"Christian, I'm so sorry," Ana cries into me. She keeps her hold on me. The pain and fear. This women is so beautiful and understanding. I don't want her to run.

Ana POV

My poor Christian, the past you don't deserve. How could this have happened? Why wasn't your mother there for you? Was she like mine? Was she scared? Fear, pain, and hate was raising up in my heart and stomach.

Christian looks me over and can tell my body is slowly falling to pieces. I needed to sleep. I needed to process everything was have learned about each other's past. I didn't want to lose this man, but now I understood. He kept people away for a reason. He needed that control. He needed that since of grounding. I can't be the woman he needs. I care so much for him, but the fear of him losing control on me scares me.

"Ana, please, let's go to bed. It is late, and we have a long and busy day tomorrow. Please, will you sleep next to me," he asks and for once, I can't speak. All I can do is nod my head, 'yes' and follow him to the bed.

"I will leave you to change," he says and leaves the room into his bathroom. I can hear the shower kick on and I slump down on the bed. All this information. All the pain.

I can see now, that I am not the only one damaged by my past, _him_ doing what he did to me, is nothing compared to what Christian has been through. I change quickly and check my phone. No missed calls or messages. Graduation day is only two days away, and I'm anxious.

As I'm deep in thought, Christian finally emerges from the bathroom and I can't help but drop my jaw. This sexy man, filled with scars, is wearing only a towel and his muscles are radiating from the water. I blush and turn my gaze away. I bite my lip and smile to myself. Christian doesn't say a word. He walks to his closet, goes in and then emerges wearing pajama pants.

"Something amusing Miss Steele?" He asks me, and I can't help but keep the smile.

"Just saw something mesmerizing," I say at him and crawl under the blanket. Please don't push this tonight. I'm not ready to be physical. I'm not ready to let someone have that power over me just yet.

"Oh yeah, well dream sweet my sweet Anastasia, tomorrow we will have fun and maybe I can steal away a kiss from those sweet lips," his words lingered on my slowly falling eyes. He held me tight and all I remember before falling into a bliss of dreams was, "My Anastasia, please stay with me".


	9. Not a chapter, but chapter coming soon

d to be worked out before I could continue but I'm all better now and this story will go on :) have faith in me and thank you to everyone for keeping with me

All my love! 3


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Pheobe POV

Pancakes. I love pancakes. Mommy makes the best ones. I can smell them before my eyes open. I wonder if mommy is making pancakes. I open my eyes and see my new room. I see all my new dolls, toys, my new bed. I love it here. Daddy is so nice to me and mommy. I don't know why mommy is scared.

"Pheobe, sweetie are you awake?" The lady, Mrs. Jones, knocks at my door and opens it. She has pancakes for me. I jump out of bed and run up to her. She smells like grandma used to. Grandma used to smell like pancakes and, what was it called, vanilla. I love that smell.

"I thought you might be up and hungry, how about you follow me and I'll get you all set up at the table with some orange juice. Sound good?" Mrs. Jones takes my hand and with the other, carries the pancakes. I'm so hungry. I hope mommy slept okay. She never sleeps more then me.

Daddy keep mommy safe. Keep her safe for me.

Anna POV

I wake to an angel of a man suffocating me with his weight and body heat. I look over at the clock and see the time. Wow. It's so late in the morning, after 9am. I never sleep this late. I guess all the excitement last night wore not only myself out but Christian too. I touch his forehead and feel that he's sweating some. I smile softly. Then I start to realize where I truly am. I'm in Christian Grey's bed. In his home. Pheobe!

I run to Pheobe's room and see she isn't in her bed. Panic rises in me. Where could she have gone? I check the bathroom. No luck. My heart is skipping beats, and my stomach is turning into knots. Fear is escalating in me.

"Mommy!" Pheobe yells from down stairs, and all I can think to myself is 'Thank God'.

"Mommy, Mrs. Jones made pancakes for breakfast, but I told her that aren't as good as yours." Pheobe beams up at me, and stuffs another bite into her mouth. I smile and kiss her forehead.

"I bet Mrs. Jones pancakes are way better then mine. Did you tell her 'thank you' for breakfast?" I look over at Mrs. Jones and smile. I can tell she's a mother from the way she looks at myself and Pheobe.

"Yes, she did. I'm sorry if I scared you this morning. I just thought you and Mr. Grey would like to sleep in." Mrs. Jones grabs my hand and squeezes it softly. She really is a kind woman. I see why Christian keeps her around. Not only an amazing cook, but she truly cares about Christian. Kind of like a mother.

I grab myself some food and sit with Pheobe, listening to music and listening to her talk about her dreams from last night. She looks so happy. I don't want her to ever feel scared. I then start to remember last night. About her. Christian's mother. I started to remember the pain in his eyes, and then I could feel the pain coming back inside me.

I listen to the songs more intently, trying to let myself relax and breathe. 'Do what Flynn would tell you Anastasia! Breathe!' Before I realize it, I'm lost in the music. I'm slowly dancing around the room in Christian Grey's shirt and boxers. I smile to myself as I feel the music flowing in my heart and soul.

During the middle of a beautiful song, I feel someone come up behind me and grab hold. I know his touch so well now. I look up at him and smile. We dance just a little more, and Pheobe starts to giggle and runs up to us. I smile at her, and kiss her head. My life isn't perfect, but in this moment, everything is. Time has stopped.

"Mommy, can we go to the park today? Daddy, can we?" Pheobe smiles up at him and I can see his eye soften. No one can say no to her.

"I don't see why not. Today is all about you and mommy." he hugs her tight and looks back to me and smiles. My heart is full of love. It scares me. Can he help me? Can he be what I need? Can we be what he needs?

After Pheobe, myself, and Christian have eaten and cleaned up. We all get ready to start our day out and about. Tomorrow we start unpacking and get ready to move, then the next day is Graduation. I can't believe I'll finally have my degree. I have come a long way since sixteen. Since that night.

I wave the bad memories and put on my happy face. Today isn't about pain, today is about fun. Today is about being happy. The three of us pile into the elevator and head out. Park, lunch, maybe some shopping for graduation, then home to get ready for the next few days.

Christian tells us to wait and picks out a black suv type car, I'm horrible with makes and models, but I can tell it's nice. What suprises me more, not about the car, but to see that there is a booster seat in the car. That it's purple. Pheobe's favorite color. I smile at Christian and he smiles back. Mr. perfect.

As we start to drive off, my phone rings and I see it's a blocked number. I hit reject and stare out the window and Pheobe and Christian talk about what park to go to, or if she wants to do something more exciting. I lose myself in the conversation as my phone rings again. I look at it, and again it's a blocked number. Again, I hit reject and chime in that the zoo would be fun. Pheobe screams and Christian laughs. I look at Pheobe and smile, and she tells me she loves me. My phone starts to ring again, and this time I am just annoyed. I pick it up and what I hear on the other line sends my body into shock.

"Anastasia, I hope you missed me, because I have missed you." The line goes silent and my body goes limp.

Christian POV

"ANA!" She's fainted! What the fuck! I pull to a dead stop on the side of the road. Thank fuck we aren't on the interstate. The shoulders here aren't as bad, and the road is surprisingly quiet.

I undo my seat belt and shake Ana gently, trying to wake her. Who was that on the phone? Finally after five minutes of shaking and yelling her name, along with Pheobe crying, I get her to wake. Her eyes tell me everything.

"Ana, who was that on the phone?" Why did I even ask? I know who it was. There is only one person, that I know of, that could make her shut down.

She doesn't answer, she just starts to cry and shy from my touch. She's backing away from me. No, no, no! I can't lose her. I need her. I try and show her I'm not going to hurt her, and finally she falls into me and cries. Her body is shaking. I grab my phone and dial for Taylor.

"Sir?" Taylor seems surprised I'm calling after I've given him the day off. I never do this, especially when he's with his daughter.

"I need you to find Ana's step father, contact the authorities and let them know that she has a restraining order against him and he has called her. I also want Garret to check Escala up and down, make sure no one is there. We are coming back now." I look at Ana and kiss her cheek. All the fear, all the pain. Please, baby, don't cry. I will keep that fucker away from you.

"Ana, will you stay with me tonight? I just want to make sure you are safe. Please?" I ask her, and she says nothing, but she squeezes my arm and nods. Pheobe has finally stopped crying and Ana sits in the back with her, calming her. Telling her everything is going to be okay.

"We are going to stay with Christian tonight okay? I promise no one is going to touch you, no one will ever hurt you." She keeps telling Pheobe, until finally they both fall asleep. I can't lose them. I love them. Wait.. What? Can I love someone? Can I be a father?

As we pull into Escala, Taylor walks out to meet us. I knew he would be here. Can never let anyone else help when it comes to me, and now Ana and Pheobe. He's what a father is. He's a model father and friend. I need to remember to give him a raise and send him on a proper vacation.

"All is sound, and perimeter is clear. We have no site or sound of anyone." Taylor looks in and looks back to Ana and Pheobe. He smiles softly and I can't help but do the same.

"Thank you Taylor, remind me to give you a raise." Taylor laughs and lets us through. He carries Pheobe up to her room as I carry Ana. I place her in Pheobe's bed first then Pheobe. I cover them up and head to my study. I need to get a hold on the situation.

"Taylor, get Garret in here. I want him, Roach too. I want to know what is going on, how this asshole got to Ana, and if he's in the area." I go over to my desk, fire up my laptop, and work on some plans for the Philadelphia increase and the Georgia models.

After an hour Garret and Roach come to my office with a folder on John's whereabouts. Currently living with an old cell mate, working for the city of Seattle cleaning up trash. Funny, trash picking up trash. I can feel my body heating up at the memory of what Ana told me. He put his hands on my Ana, my sweet Ana. He bruised her, broke her. He made her feel like she was nothing.

"Thank you. Roach get on with Ross about Georgia and see where we are. Garret, go to Ana's apartment and make sure no one is there other then her friend Kate. Call me if anything happens." I dismiss them both and go back to my work. It must have been a couple hours, for Ana walks into my study and springs me.

"Pheobe is with Mrs. Jones making cookies, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She slowly walks to my desk. Her hair is flowing, chocolate colored and her blue eyes stare into me. She smells like vanilla. I smile at her and close my laptop. Work can wait.

She finally makes it to me, and brushes her fingers in my hair and hugs me. My Ana. My sweet Anastasia. Please don't leave me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her in. I want her. After all this fucked up day, I want her so bad.

"You smell like vanilla," I say to against her chest as we embrace. I can feel the smile just by her body language. She pulls my hair softly and chuckles. She sounds like an angel.

She pulls my hair to make me look up to her, to see her. She looks so beautiful. Even in the midst of all this, she keeps a smile on her face. She's so strong. She then leans down and kisses me. With that I lose myself in her. I wrap my fingers into her hair, and deepen the kiss. Her legs are wrapped around me in my chair pushing herself into me, and it's so fucking hot. I lift her and carry her, still deep into our kiss, my tongue invading her mouth. I gently put her on the sofa, and kiss her neck. I need her.

"Christian, wait. Not like this. Please." She says softly and I have to fight the demon inside me to get me to stop. I want her more then ever, but after today, I don't want to push her.

"Anything for you, my Anastasia." I kiss her and try and think of anything to get my cock to go down. He isn't happy with the sudden stop. How many years has it been where a woman has told me to stop? To make me stop without the whips, the flog, or the safety word?

"Christian, we need to discuss something, and it is very important to me. Before we go any farther, I need to know something." My breath hitches. Where is she going with this?

"Christian, can you love someone like me?" And then, the word that breaks me has come up. Can I truly love her?

**Well, I hope this makes up for the long wait. I promise I won't make you guys wait that long again, so follow it and leave a comment. Next chapter, graduation ;)**


	11. Chapter 10

Wow you guys are once agian awesome, I have had so many PMs and the reviews are all sweet I'm glad everyone liked it. There is so much to come and I can't wait to share it all with you. Thank you for keeping with me :)

Chapter 10

Christian's POV

The blackness is filling into me again, the constant reminder of what I am. Can i truly love someone? Can I be anything? I couldn't even save my mother and I loved her very much. I couldn't even be what she needed and help her. Ana's eyes are like fire, burning my soul. Burning the Grey that is fifty shades of fucked up. I don't know if I can be the man she really needs, but I want to try. I want to try and see if I can be who she can run to.

"Ana, I have never loved anyone except my mother and father, as well as my brother and sister. Love for me is something that doesn't come easy. It reminds me of my crack whore of a mother. She loved her pimp, and killed her. I don't want to be that person." I look away and move from her. This is hard.

"I want to love you, I want to know what it means to give someone all you have. Can you be patient with me?" I look at her finally after pacing back and forth and I see the Ana I first saw when she fell into my office. She's scared. She's strong. She's everything I'm not.

I can't bare to look at her anymore. I sit next to her on the couch and put my head in my hands. I probably ruined every bit of trust she had in me. She's going to run away. Who can't love? Who? Me. This fucked up man. This shell of a human. That's why business comes so easy. You can't have emotions in business. It's cut and dry.

After what seems like an eternity I look back at Ana and see the tears starting to fall from her face. Yet, she still looks so beautiful. How can she still be so stunning and crying? I grab her hand and squeeze it. Please don't cry for me baby. I'm not worth the tears. I'm not worth the anguish.

"Christian.. Why.. Why do you see yourself as a monster with no heart? You have given me more in the few weeks I've known you, then anyone has. I don't want your riches, I don't want your cars. All Pheobe and I want is you. Just you." Ana kisses my cheek and hugs me tight. I grab hold, like she's holding all the pieces of me together before I fall to hell.

I smell her hair, it smells so good. My Ana. She makes me happy. She makes me forget. She makes me want to be a better man. Isn't that what love is supposed to be about? I don't let go of her till she moves away and wipes her face. She softly chuckles and I'm lost as what could possibly be funny about this situation.

"My mother, when I was younger, she would tell me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Before John, I trusted everyone. I was so young. I remember Ray telling me that I was such a smart girl. Is me loving you smart?" Ana, she loves me. She loves me! I smile at her and smile, and laugh softly.

"I want you to love me. I want to be a better man." I tell her and kiss her eyes. Please Ana, don't leave me. Be what I need. Be my savior from the pits of hell. Let me try and love you.

"I think Pheobe may be giving Gail a run for her money, let's go check and make sure they are both alive." I pull her up from the couch and take her hand. This is where you belong Ana, by my side. I will protect you. I will always protect you.

As we walk to the kitchen, a sudden thought occurs to me. How will she take to the Red Room? Will she be able to see past everything? She's probably never even heard of a flogger. I'm going to have to be easy with her, or she will run. I will have to coach her into this gently. Not like Mrs. Lincoln did me. I won't throw her into my fucked up world all at once.

"Daddy! Mommy! We made cookies! Look, I made chocolate chip!" Pheobe runs up to Ana and jumps in her arms. Watching them makes me so happy, but so sad. Why couldn't my mother have been that loving. In all the pain, Ana stays so strong for Pheobe.

"I see, they smell wonderful," Ana kisses Pheobe's head and goes to the counter to Gail and tries one. She smiles softly and I can see my Ana coming back. No more tears baby, no more pain.

I walk over and try one myself. Gail's reciepe for sure. I've had them, but it was so long ago. That was Ashley walked out, she wanted a husband and a family. I couldn't be that. I wasn't ready. Gail saw the whole thing and made me cookies. She told me that love comes when you least expect it. She was right.

"Thank you for watching Pheobe Mrs. Jones. She just adores you." Ana squeezes her hand and smiles. Her heart is so pure. So tender. How could anyone hurt her.

"It was nothing, she reminds me of my daughters when they were that young. Full of life and can conquer the world. I see so much of you in her," Gail looks at me and gives me a pointed look. Her 'I like this girl and don't mess it up' look. I smile and nod. The past six years have been kind to Gail. We have an understanding, and I pay her well. She never complains and always comes to work.

I look back at Ana and Pheobe as they go towards the piano. Ah yes, Ana did mention she loves music. Maybe I should play for them. As I make my way to the piano, Ana's fingers start to move across the keys, and the saddist melody I have ever heard fills the room. A sad but beautiful melody. I didn't know she could play...

"Mommy, you are playing my song!" Pheobe says and hums to it. What comes next I never thought I would hear. Ana singing. It's soft at first then fills the room. This is her coping.

I sit next to her and Pheobe wedges in between us and hums along. I take hold of the piano and play one of my favorites. She hums along with the song, losing herself in the music. This is the Ana I want to know more of. I want to see what drives her. I want to know what makes her want to help others in need. Is it only because of her past? Is it her want, to help people who feel helpless?

As the song comes to an end, I realize it is getting pretty late, and Ana has graduation tomorrow. I look over at Pheobe who is falling asleep on Ana. We haven't even had dinner yet, but I feel so exhausted. I know they both must be too.

"Gail, don't worry about dinner this evening. Please head home, and be safe. Take tomorrow off as well. Enjoy the time you have with your family. Thank you for everything." I say to Gail as I pick up Pheobe and carry her to her room. Tomorrow is a very big day for everyone. A new chapter in their lives.

Ana slowly follows yawning. They must have tossed and turned when I brought them in. I hadn't realized we were at the piano for two hours. No wonder they are tired. I set Pheobe down and cover her and kiss her forehead. I want to be the dad she needs. I want to be the father she deserves.

I take Ana's hand and make our way to the bedroom. I open the door and let her in. I go to the bathroom and start the shower, but when I get back to the room, she's asleep on the bed. Her hair covering the bed and some of her face. My dick starts to twitch as I see her breasts starting to expose and quickly get to the shower. I can't push this. I can't break her. I feel like she's a doll, a glass doll so fragile and if I move her to quick she will crack and shatter.

I quickly change into some PJs and get in bed. I cover us up, and grab hold of the pillow. I can feel the day on my body. I should probably go for a run in the morning before Ana and Pheobe get up. Work off all these emotions.

Ana POV

I wake to an empty bed and look at the clock. 6am. God why am I up so early? Why is all my clothes still on from yesterday? I look around for Christian and he is no where to be found. Hmm. Must be working. Guess you can rule the world in bed and he didn't work much yesterday.

I get up and make my way to the shower and let the hot water cascade over my body. I needed this. The heat. The drowned out silence. Why is John trying to get back in contact with me? How did he find me? How did he even get my number? I guess it isn't that hard with technology these days. I find the soap and start to lather it across my body, letting the silkiness erupt on my skin. How long has it been since I have taken a shower without Pheobe right here or in a room where I can see her?

I finish up washing my hair and skin and turn off the water. I find the towels and wrap up my body first then hair. I brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror. 'You look like a ghost Ana,' I say to myself. How can any man love me. I'm so plain. So simple. I look at my scars. Everyone of them has a story. Not getting a beer fast enough, getting a B in school, bringing over a boy. Every scar hurts today. I guess the thought of him is making my body ache.

I leave the shower and put on my bra and panties and a pare of jeans I found in Christians closet. He really likes have the fancy stuff. Everything is name brand, and some of the tags I can't even read. 'To be the ruler of the world and to have the money to show it.' I chuckle to myself and pull on one of my tshirts he bought me. I grab my converse and socks and get ready for the day. Tonight I will be graduated and put another step into my life. Today is the day I leave old Ana behind.

I go to Pheobe's room to see her still asleep. I go to her closet and pick out a beautiful yellow sun dress that she will love and also grab a dress for tonight. I can't wait to see Ray. I know Pheobe will be happy to see him too. He's always been our rock. Well, now he's more of our anchor and Christian is the rock.

"Mommy I'm hungry," Pheobe says as she looks up to me, rubbing her little eyes. I smile and go to her and kiss her cheek.

"Okay baby, let's make a good breakfast. Today is a big day. Today I graduate and we start a new chapter in our lives." I smile at her and get her dressed and teeth brushed. We make our way to the kitchen and get breakfast set up. Bacon, eggs, toast, and fruit. The best breakfast to have.

After about an hour of prep and cooking, Pheobe and I are eating away, when Christian comes in. He's all sweaty and out of breath. I look at him stund and get him a glass of water. He thanks me and drinks it down. I make him a plate and he eats it fast and goes to take a shower. Never saying much to me. I guess something is wrong or something is going on with work. I try not to press. I don't want to bother him to much.

"Mommy, when are we leaving?" Pheobe asks as I clean up and get the dishes put away.

"Soon baby, mommy has to turn her keys in at work and get her dress. Grandpa is also coming in so we have to get ready for when he gets here." I take Pheobe's hand and take her to her room.

"I'm going to go check on Christian okay? I'm also going to call Aunt Kate and let her know we are still alive." I smile at her and half close her door as she loses herself in her toys and dolls.

I walk into Christian's room and see him on the bed, lost in thought in a towel. He looks so god like. Water slowly beading on his muscles, hair wet like a model, towel on lose to show off his stomach. I feel like knees start to shiver and shake. This man makes me feel so different and I like the feeling. Am I ready for that though?

"Christian is everything okay?" I ask as I walk over to the bed. I snake my fingers into his hair and hug him. I know I can't do much, but I can do this.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Bad dreams. Memories." he hugs me tighter and kisses my stomach and I feel the naughty feeling in my stomach start to rise again. Just like yesterday. I bend down and kiss him, holding onto his hair and pressing on him. I want him and it scares me.

He leans back and I fall onto him, kissing him, as he places his hands on my butt. I want him to make me feel like no one else has. I want him to be the one I lose myself with.

"Ana, god I want you" he whispers in between our kisses. I want him too, so much. I push in harder and start to move on what is now his hard erection. He rolls us over where he's on top. I start to move my hands down from his head to his back and he stops.

"Please, Ana, don't touch my back. I can't stand for anyone to feel my scars." The pain in his words makes me want to cry. I kiss him harder, masking my tears, and let him hold me down. The feeling of that night comes back. Holding me down. Suffocating me. I can't do this.

I stop and move away, "I'm so sorry Christian. I just can't be held down. It reminds me to much of that night." I say, wiping my tears. He smiles and kisses me. The tenderness of his kiss makes me lose myself in wonderland.

"What ever you want baby, no rush," he says and kisses me again. He gets up and pulls me up as well. I don't want to leave him, but I know I'll see him again in a few hours.

I leave and get Pheobe as he gets dressed and we head out to get us home. The next few hours is filled with laughter, music, and just heartfelt conversation. Pheobe goes on and on about seeing grandpa, that she gets to stay the week with him in California. I smile and Christian holds my hand. He's so sweet and has no idea. If you were to tell me this is the Christian Grey I interviewed only a few weeks prier, I would laugh in your face. Who knew?

We say our goodbyes as we finally get to the apartment and rush in to get ready. Kate looks stunning as ever, with her speech and everything ready to go. Pheobe looks like a princess with her yellow dress, and when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like I got left behind. My face is so pale. I have to look away as I finish getting ready.

We rush out the door and get to the school, Ray of course is already there, waving. He looks just as excited as I am. I wish mom could have made it. For the first time since I was a kid, I wanted my mom there, but I have Ray and Pheobe and now Christian.

Ray comes over to us and hugs us tight. I've missed him so much. He goes on about a girl he started to see, how she reminds him of Carla. I smile on the outside and congratulate him, but on the inside I'm sad. The last time Ray was with a woman, she took what he had and ran.

"What's wrong kiddo, you look kind of out of it today. Are you nervous? You won't trip and fall, and if you do, no one will remember." He says as he hugs me.

"Dad, John called me." I blurt out and lock my lips. Way to go genious.

"WHAT?!' Ray is mad, really mad. I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

"Please, don't make a scene. Please. You know how I am." I say trying to calm him down. There's no use. The ex-army sniper has been activated, and he wants blood.

"Just because what today is, I will not be mad but soon as it is over I'm calling the lawyer. He's not supposed to have any contact with you no matter what. How is he even out of jail? He's supposed to be serving 15 years I thought." Ray holds Pheobe and calms his nerves. I hug him tight and just hold on.

"I don't know, but I do know I have to go. Promise, no ill will. Not with Pheobe right here." I say and hug him tight again. He hugs me back and smiles and I know he will keep his word. For now.

We pile in, singing the songs anthem and listening to this person and that person go on about the future and what it holds. I lose interest and stare at Christain and he's staring back. I hear a few girls a couple rows down whispering about him and I can feel my possessive side taking over.

"Now, Christian Grey with a few words," is what takes me out of my trance. He looks remarkable.

"Thank you. I won't take much of your time, but I will say this. Just because you made this grade or that grade in college doesn't mean you won't find your place out in the world. I came from a home who had nothing before I was adopted, and I want to give back and help those in need. Someone very close to me told me recently told me that there's always a demon to fight, but we don't have to fight them alone," then the famous Christian Grey stares at me and smiles. Like I am the only person in the world.

"Everyone of you will have demons to face, but be brave. Never give up. You are your only hero, and your book has just now added a new chapter. Congrats graduates, and let this be the day you start a new you." Everyone, including myself, stands up and cheers. God even his words are contagious.

Then one by one our names are called, shaking this ones hand, then this one. Going all until I hear the 'ANASTASIA STEELE' and the small bit of crowd erupting from the back. I smile and make my way up and across the stage. I shake all the hands but stop at Christian's. He smiles big at me and thanks me.

"Your speech was infectious. I bet you could lead a Roman army if you wanted to," I say and chuckle. He smiles at me and mouthes the word 'later' and lets me go. After about 45 minutes of names we are all across the stage and cheering. Finally. We are done!

I make my way through the people as my hats off and my robe unzipped showing a curvy silver and blue dress Kate had let me borrow. Haltered and showing my back. That's Kate style. Showing off what she's got. I smile and finally find her and her parents talking with Ray and Pheobe.

Pheobe runs up and jumps into my arms squeezing the life out of me. I thank her and make small talk with everyone, laughing about the men in suites and how they all look so professional for today. Finally, Christian makes his way over and kisses my cheek.

"Well Mr. Grey, I didn't now you had taken a liking to our Ms. Steele," Kate's father responds after shaking his hand. They laugh and go on about business, but something catches my eye in the back of the crowd. It can't be.

All I see is John mouth the words, "I found you."


	12. Chapter 11

**I'm so sorry about the wait, been a busy month getting my daughter into school and everything else in my life. Thank you to everyone for being so patient, and I WILL NOT DELAY YOU ANYMORE! Sooooo here we go!**

Chapter 11

Ana's POV

Why? Why now? Why is he here? All these questions are filling my head and it feels like my body is being tied down again. All the memories crash on me like a tidal wave and wash my brain with fear, hate, sadness, and pain. The only one I can think about right now is the little girl I vowed to always protect.

"Pheobe!" I yell at Ray and take her in my arms. I pull on Ray and push through the crowd towards the door. I don't think about Kate, or Christian, or anyone. All I can think about is getting out.

Finally, after what feels like forever we manage to push through the sea and land outside the doors and I can breathe. My heart is beating out of my chest and I can taste the sweat pouring out of me. Ray can tell in my eyes before I say anything at all. I hold Pheobe and cry into her as Ray gets the car. We have to go now. Christian will understand.

"ANA!" Christian yells out to me, I want to tell him everything but I can't.

"I'm sorry Christian but he's here. He saw me. He found us." My tears stain my lips, smearing my eye liner and mascara across my face. I try and find the strength to hold on but I want to collapse.

"Ray is getting the car and we are getting away from here, he wants to take us home and get our things." I see all the pain in his eyes. Don't be pained by me. Please. I need you to be strong.

"Taylor is getting the car now, we will follow you home. Come back to Escala with me. I can protect you. Ray can stay there for the night as well. Please. I can't lose you." Christian is holding me and Pheobe. I start to cry again. I can't lose him too.

"Mommy what's going on?" Pheobe looks so scared. I can't let him get to her. I could care less about myself, but her. She's everything. She always has been.

"It's okay baby, mommy will keep you safe. No one will ever hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you," I hug her tighter and I hope Christian can feel the urgency.

He pulls out his phone and calls Taylor, asking to pull around quick, and then calls someone named Stan. He keeps telling him that the restraining order has been breached and wants him found.

"Ana please, I need to know this, why is John also called Stephen?" Christian looks at me with concern, and Ray finally pulls up and gets Pheobe strapped in.

"He said that was his name for the longest time, but then people would call and ask for John. I never questioned, for fear of punishment at that time, but I wondered. Mom told me to not get involved. At the trail we learned everything. His past. He had a charge, but it was dropped, for sexual contact with a minor. Lack of evidence at the time, so I guess he changed his name so we never knew. I still call him Stephen time to time, but he's always going to be the monster that stole everything from me, including my mom." I get in Ray's car and shut the door. Christian follows close behind.

The car ride doesn't take long to get to the small apartment and I see Christian on the phone, flinging his hand and looks like he's yelling. In my heart, all I want to do is run and hide. Pheobe keeps looking out the window. I wanted to keep this all from her, but I guess she's so smart she understands that there is a lot going on. I have to tell her.

I walk in the apartment and grab the mail as I walk to my room. I pull out the biggest suitcase I can find that isn't packed away, thanks to Kate and our trip to Florida. I fill it with everything I can grab of mine and Pheobe's, taking anything of importance.

"Mommy, what's going on?" Pheobe looks at me, and holds some stuffed animals. I have to do this.

"Pheobe come sit down, I have to tell you something." I feel my heart break.

"Pheobe, I haven't told you much about our lives so I could protect you. There is a very bad man, and I don't know if he means to hurt you or me or grandpa. I just want to get you away, to get us away from him so he can't do anything to us." I pull her in close and hug her. This is all she needs to know. I can't destroy her like I was.

"Okay mommy, I love you." She holds me tight. So tight. Keeping all the pieces of me together. I don't want her to know of the pain I have gone through. I never want her to see the monsters that can be in humanity.

I slowly get up and zip up the suitcase and look out the window. It's raining. The weather mirrors my emotions. Dark, sad, and falling. The rain looks so nice, a slow drizzle but enough to wash away the leaves and dirt from the roads and sidewalks. There's a smell in the air. Clean. It smells like the world is trying to wash everything away. Why can't it wash away my pain?

"Anastasia? You ready?" Christian has Pheobe in his arms, ready to go. I nod and take one last look outside this window. This is the last time I will see the night dribbling with rain, at least from this view.

I take Pheobe from Christian and grab his hand tight. He smiles at me and I know that all will be okay. I have these two. I have everything I need right now, in the moment.

"Please protect us," I whisper to Christian, and without saying a word I can tell he understands. Be the rock we need.

I lock the door and head to Ray's car, the rain now pouring down on us. It feels so nice. It feels like my past is trying to be washed away. I'm not the same old Ana anymore. No, I'm stronger then I used to be.

"Ray follow Christian and I to his house, we will be staying their for the night. Christian had Gail set up a bed in Pheobe's room for you. Please, don't argue. No one knows where Christian lives, and he has constant patrol of Escala. We will be safe there." I hug Ray, and he just smiles and nods. He is the best dad I could ever ask for. I hope Christian can see he is what Pheobe needs.

Taylor gets us in, and Christian takes the front so Pheobe and I can sleep some. The drive is long, wet, and tiring. The constant light after light, and car after car. The thunder crashed around us, and the lightening occasionally lit up for me to see the trees and houses.

When we pull in, Taylor informs us to stay in the car so he can do a sweep. Pheobe is asleep and softly snoring in my lap. She looks so beautiful, like an angel. I can't help wonder to myself if I ever looked this beautiful. When Taylor comes back he gets in and nods to Christian. We pull up and get out. Ray pulls in beside us and looks over at all the cars.

"Are all these yours?" Ray is amazed. I forgot how much he loves cars, fishing, hunting, sports, anything manly.

"Yes sir, I've aquired them over the years. I still have my first car somewhere in here." Christian and Ray keep talking about cars, then move over to fishing and buildings. I smile and take Pheobe's hand and walk with Taylor towards the elevators.

"Thank you for everything Taylor. I know Christian may not say how thankful he is sometimes, but he is. Pheobe and I really thank you for everything you have done for us." I smile and Taylor and he smiles back.

"I just want to say I'm sorry about John coming to your graduation. He must have known someone was on to him, and gave us the slip right before. It won't happen again." He then walks first to check the elevators and make sure Christian doesn't need anything.

He's such a good man, Christian is very fortunate to have found him. He keeps to himself most of the time, which must be very lonely. I wish he could see his little girl more too. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see Pheobe but once a week, if that. I guess every job has it's downfalls.

Once the elevator doors shut, the ride up is filled with electricity and heat. I don't know if it was from all the bodies in it, or if it was just me and Christian. I want to be intimate with him, so bad. Maybe tonight, as a token of my gratitude, I can try and open up some. Experiment. See if he can let this awful memory fade away. I smile at Christian and he winks at me, flirty man as always.

Gail is a bundle of nerves, asking if everything is okay and if anyone is hungry. My stomach growls and gives it away. Gail starts to pull out meat before I can protest and Pheobe runs to the piano and beckons me over. Music is always the best medicine.

I sit down and let my fingers take over. I play feverishly, intense, letting all the pain from today fade into the music. I see Pheobe's eyes soften as she hears the music play, she swings her feet and smiles. She loves to see me smile, and she knew this would be the best way. Christian joins us, and we start to play together. First silly little songs, then more elaborate ones. every bit of the music filling the room.

Ray and Taylor are talking and Gail is humming with the music when I can finally get out of my own world and look around me. This feels like home, like peace. It's everything I could ever want, but is it mine to have? Do I deserve this?

I start to play slower as my feelings turn dark. I'm the reason for all the mess. It's all my fault. Christian could be with a beautiful model, Ray could be out with friends, Taylor could be with his daughter and poor Gail could be with her family. Instead, everyone is here. Why couldn't I have just taken Pheobe and ran?

"Mommy, you stopped," Pheobe pulls me back and the look in her eyes tells me everything. She doesn't want me sad, but I can't help but feel I don't deserve this.

"Ana come eat, it will make you feel better. I will get some clothes out for you and Pheobe and then you can lay down." Gail pulls me to the table to eat. I just keep my eyes to the floor. I can't look at anyone, I don't deserve to.

I finish quickly and once Pheobe is done I take her hand and make our way to her room. My legs feel so heavy. My body feels vacant. I don't want to feel this anymore. Finally, I get Pheobe dressed and in bed and kiss her forehead. This little girl is everything in the world to me. I can't let the world harm her.

I close the door after she starts to drift to sleep and pull out my phone. I dial the one person that I need to talk to right now. Not the best person but someone I need to speak with.

"Ana?" Mom says, concern in her voice.

"Mommy I need you to just talk to me, please? He found me and Pheobe." With that one little thing, I finally break down into tears on Christian Grey's bed.

Christian's POV

"If you will excuse me, it's getting late and I have an early day tomorrow." I get up Taylor, Gail, and Ray talking about Florida and how nice the weather is right now. The only person I want to talk to right now looks like she's seen a ghost.

I quickly make my way up the stairs and check on Pheobe, she's snoring and in her own little fiarytale dream world. I smile and make my way to my room when I hear the most awful thing to hear, Ana crying.

I move closer, not trying to disrupt her conversation with whoever she is talking to, but I want to hear more.

"Mom what do I do? I feel like I'm the reason everyone has to quit their lives, to save me. I'm stronger then that but, John found us and I'm scared. Everytime I look at him, I remember that night." Ana keeps crying, hiccuping into the phone. Please baby, stop crying.

"I know mom, get some sleep I'm sorry to wake you." She pauses, "I love you too," and hangs up. I breathe in slowly and make myself known.

"Ana," I say and tap on the door, "can I come in?" Ana doesn't say anything, so I take it as a yes and open the door and close it behind me.

Her face looks like a ghost. I can feel my heart starting to break. I can't stand this, her pain. It reminds me of seeing the crack whore on the floor, eyes open with only tears left. I take her in my arms and let her cry, she puts her hands around me and on my back. On the scars. I stop breathing, the pain comes back to me. I just close my eyes and let her cry. I can handle this, she needs me.

Finally, after about an hour she looks at me and softly smiles and kisses my lips. This is weird. I've had girls kiss me after crying, but it's usually because I've pushed them to their limit and they want to show that they still want to be my sub, but once you get to that point it's better to terminate the contract. I was never for love, except with Ana. I wonder why.

I look Ana over and smile, "feel better?" I ask. She nods and kisses me again. I push her back and shake my head. I can't let her do something she doesn't want to do.

"Ana, let's wait till you feel completely better. Trust me, I want you. I want all of you so bad, but I want you to do this willingly." I touch her cheek and caress my thumb on her bottom lip. God I want to bite it. I want to make her scream my name.

"Christian, I want this. I want you, too, I'm just" she pauses and I can sense what she is trying to say.

"I know, it's scary," I can't contain myself with her. Looking into her eyes makes my dick go hard. I want her, all of her. I want her to trust me.

She just nods and starts to undress for bed. Her skin, riddled with scars. My beautiful Ana is so broken, I can't stand to look at the scars anymore. I pull her into me and kiss her neck and ear. I know the one thing she needs to hear right now.

"Ana," I say softly, laying her down next to me. Sleep slowly taking us over. "I love you," and that's all I remember before drifting off to a peaceful, dreamless night.

John POV

I saw her. I finally saw her, after all these years. She looks so beautiful. Twice as beautiful as her mother. I wonder what our daughter looks like. Soon, I can't wait to have them both with me. Ana belongs to me.

"Come on to bed now love, I'll make you feel like a king," the girls here are just as low as I remember. You give them a couple hundred bucks and they will do anything, you just have to find the right one.

"Shut up," I say to her, I finally found the one that looks like my sweet Ana.

"I'm going to make you feel what I made her feel, like a real woman." Yes, I made her a woman, and when I get her back, she will see that I'm the only one she will ever need.


	13. Chapter 12

**I'm so sorry for the delay, things have been very busy around and I am currently in the process of getting a book published so I have been extremely busy trying to get that done. Without further delay here is the newest chapter. Thank you for waiting so patiently and not giving up on me.**

**Chapter 12**

The past few weeks have been so busy but happy in it, as we have not heard or seen John. Pheobe and I have been so busy at Escala with Christian. Finding a job has been quite a challenge as not very many places will take in someone with little to no experience, and even though Christian has been so kind as to offer myself a job at Grey Enterprise and Grey Publishing, I really want to find something for myself. Just having the satisfaction of doing it for myself, and knowing I don't need someone to always cover and watch over me.

I have gotten into a good routine in the mean time, Mrs. Jones and I split her duties around Escala. I thought that would at least be fair, seeing as I could never afford to pay for anything here, even if I was to find a good job. Mrs. Jones, or Gail she keeps correcting me, does the cooking for lunch and dinner, as I do for breakfast and whatever snacks Pheobe wants during the day. This let's her sleep more and arrive later in the day. It's the least I could do. I also do laundry and sweep to keep up with everything, unless it needs to be dry cleaned. Gail and I also do the food shopping together, and if Christian needs anything I can go with Taylor most of the time.

The hardest part of the past few weeks, is Christian having to travel for work, and being alone with my thoughts for the first time in a while. Having all the insecurities of him possibly finding someone else, or John finding us and not having him here with us to protect us. We still talk though, every night and Pheobe loves when he reads to her over video message. She has gotten so attached so fast, and misses him so much. I still find things to do during the day with her to keep her preoccupied and to make sure she doesn't get into the mess of the life she was brought into.

Every day brings something new around the house, and I have found that Christian has a very comfy livingroom, with a million movies, but he rarely uses it. I told myself when he gets back that we will have movie nights with Pheobe, so we can all relax and not spend so much money, even though he's told me a million times money is no issue. I still don't like that he spends so much on us. It really makes me feel so cheap, the fact I can barely afford a tenth of what he buys us.

I look over at the clock as I see it is almost midnight, and I am still trying to fold some of Pheobe's shirts. Lost in myself as I listen to some classics. I smile down at the shirt I am folding, one I got her about a year ago from Georgia when we went to see mom for a few days. It was so hot out, and mom insisted that she buy the shirt but I ended talking her out of it as I pulled my credit card out first. She was so upset, complaining that she never gets to buy her own granddaughter anything but then the memories come back and she usually becomes quiet. I try to not look her in the eyes much, all these years later and I still find it hard to trust her. She keeps saying it was a dark time for her, but it was a darker time for me.

"Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?" Pheobe yawns and walks into the dining room. I smile and hug her tight.

"Baby, it is late. How about a drink of milk and we try and go back to sleep. Daddy will be home tomorrow morning early, and I will make your favorite if you want. Sound okay?" I kiss her head and walk her to her room as I swear I see something flash outside the windows but I brush it off as we are at the top of the building and no one can get in unless they go through Christian's men and I wouldn't dare do that.

I tuck her in after she takes a drink and hum till her eyes shut and her breathing becomes soft. It's these little moments with her that I thank Ray for standing with me and not letting anyone take her from me. I turn on her nightlight and walk out the room, still smiling and walk back to the dining room. My phone sends a soft ping, and I look to see that Kate has called and left a voicemail. I click the voicemail box picture and listen as Kate is clearly drunk and happy with her friends. She says she misses us and wants to go shopping this weekend and I chuckle and send a quick text saying to call me when she wakes in the morning.

I look over at the laundry I was folding to see that the shirt I was folding is missing, along with one of mine that Ray got me in high school. I look around the floor and chairs to see if I dropped them or maybe when Pheobe came in she might have knocked them off. I look for a few more minutes, to coming up empty and just put it to that I am tired and not thinking clearly. I decide to come back to it in the morning as I make my way to Pheobe's room and climb in bed with her to sleep. Something in the back of my head must have told me to lock the door, because without thinking I lock the door and fall asleep with my angel.

Throughout the night, I keep hearing banging and scratching and it eventually makes its way to my dreams as I have nightmares about someone breaking into the old apartment and taking things. I toss and turn, swearing someone is calling my name, cussing that they can't find what they are looking for, then darkness as the deepest sleep takes over and I am lost in nothing until morning.

I finally wake to my phone going off for the eleventh or twelth time, putting it off until now thinking it was mom or Kate. I look down to see it is Christian, and then I hear someone calling for me and Pheobe in a panic. It's Gail and Taylor. I unlock the door and am greeted to a frightened Christian staring me down. He must see questions in my eyes as he throws his arms over me and hugs me tight. What happened last night?

"Are you okay? Is Pheobe? Who broke in? Did you see their face?" Christian keeps asking he same questions as I slowly process what he is asking. Someone break in? To Escala? Are they mad?

"I honestly don't know what you are talking about. Pheobe and I slept in her room last night. I locked the door, well I don't know why I locked the door, but I had no idea anyone was in here." I look over at Taylor who is speaking with two officers and nods at me. What is going on?

"The place is a total mess, like someone was looking for something. Some of your and Pheobe's things are missing. Pictures Gail and Taylor took when we went to the park last week before I left, your locket that is always hanging in our bathroom, and your purse is no where in sight." Gail comes over as Pheobe finally wakes up, and takes her into her arms.

"I think this little lady is hungry, I'm going to make some breakfast. Ana would you like some tea?" I nod and try and think of who would be crazy enough to break in, no one knew that Christian was out of town except us and some people at his work.

"Do you think it could be John?" I ask, my voice breaking.

"I don't know, but we are going to get out of here until he is found. We haven't been on a vacation, is there any place you would like to go? Anywhere? The moon is the limit." He hugs me again and kisses me softly. Honestly, a vacation is not what I had in mind but then I remember something from last night.

"Can we go see my mom?" I ask, not knowing if he would be on board for what I was asking.

"Anything for you Anastasia." He smiles and we go to the kitchen as Gail and Pheobe are making eggs and pancakes. I smile at them and look around to see the place really has been trashed. Plants broken, papers everywhere. Luckily I locked up Christian's study earlier yesterday after I watered his plants and stocked his mini fridge with water.

"Pheobe, how would you like to go see Grandma?" I ask, not knowing if she would want to or not.

"Really?! We havent seen her in forever! Can daddy and Taylor come, too?" She looks over at Christian with sad eyes. He only nods and smiles to her. He would give her the world if it came to it. Yet, I keep asking myself the one question I want answered, who got in and why?

After breakfast and everyone get's cleaned up, I pack our suitcases with stuff for Georgia, as it is probably extremely humid and hot around this time of year. Pheobe brings her bunny Ray got her when she was just a year old, and the locket Christian got her when she threw a fight when I got mine and she didn't have one with my picture in it to wear.

"Have you ever flown by plane?" Christian asks Pheobe, and she just shakes her head.

"It is a lot of fun, even more fun than a helicopter." Her eyes get big with excitement, which we will probably travel in first class if Christian has anything to do with it.

We arrive at the airport about an hour later and get our luggage checked in. I call mom and let her know we will be arriving in Georgia in a few hours and that we will be there for about a week, at least Christian thinks that's how long it will take to find and 'take care of John'. I told him I don't want to know any of the details, as long as he is in jail by the time we get back and away from Pheobe that is all I care about. We board the plane, get in our seats in, of course first class, and relax as we await the departure to see mom. I wonder how she is, and her current husband. They have been married for a few years now, and he makes her happy but I just don't trust him. She knows that I will probably have trust issues the rest of my life, and it is understandable. Doctor Flynn says I will work through it, and will slowly trust people agian.

The flight goes by uneventful, Pheobe watches the clouds and looks over at the ground asking a million questions. Christian does his very best to answer them all, some of them he just can't and the stewartess saves the day by offering snacks, drinks, and anything else that we think we would need. She can't keep her eyes off Christian, and it starts to hurt my stomach watching her flirt with him and asking what he did for a living. He was being polite, but I just couldn't look at him. I keep telling myself to stop being Ana and relax. He wouldn't hurt me like that, but deep inside all the pain starts to resurface and I fake that I am tired and close my eyes just to try and escape from the inner demon.

I remember a time when I was fifteen, and I tried to talk to boys. Mom didn't think it would be a good idea, but I didn't know why until I invited a boy over. John was at 'work' and mom was doing dishes when I got home from school. She said that he needed to leave before seven which was usually dinner time. John would be home, and he would start drinking and I didn't want any of my friends to see how terrible my home life was.

We were in the livingroom listening to some music and doing homework and laughing when time started to fly. By six mom was aminent that my friend needed to leave soon, and I kept telling her it would be okay.

"His name is Jake and he is a very good friend of mine mom. He will be gone by seven I promise, just please stop you are embarassing me!" I whispered in the kitchen while getting us drinks.

"Please Ana, just make sure John doesn't see him okay? He just thinks you are to young to be dating and I don't want you to get hurt by him if he tries to turn you down." Mom walked off and I walked back in the room thinking of how hurtful it was for her to say that. Now I know that she was protecting me, or trying to.

"Sorry about my mom, she can be kind of strict as well as my step dad." I hand Jake the soda and smile.

"No it's cool, my mom told me I can't date anyone until I am in college." we laugh and pack up our school work and continue to tel jokes as he walks to the door to go home.

"I'm sorry you have to leave early," I say with sadness. John would beat my hide if he knew I brought home a boy from school.

"It's cool, how about Saturday I save you from the prison. A bunch of us are going to the mall and uh, it would be cool if we could go together." He doesn't look at me, and I smile.

"Saturday sounds cool, it's a date." I say and immediatly regret my words as John walks up behind him and greets me with a kiss on my forehead and whispers in my ear, 'over my dead body.' I wave as Jake walks away and prepare myself for the bruises I will have to cover up for tomorrow.

I awoken from the dream as Christian and Pheobe are waking me as we have already landed and first class is allowed to depart first. I smile and follow, as Pheobe holds my hand and gushes about how she got to talk to the pilot while I was asleep. I laugh as Christian holds my hand tight.

"Anastasia are you okay? You look like you had bad dreams." He kisses me soft and squeezes my hand.

"Just memories, that's all. Seeing mom always brings them back. It's okay, I'm okay. I just need a shower and some food." I have always been a good liar, I've had years to practice, so Christian just nodded and didn't press it any further.

Taylor has already gotten us a rental, and taken care of our hotel. He put us under his name so if anyone tried to follow us or get to me or Pheobe they would have to dig deep. We arrive at the hotel, which is only ten minutes from mom's house and right on the beach. Our room is bigger then my old apartment by double, and the view over the ocean is incredible. I can't even describe how beautiful the sun set is and it eases all the pain and anxiety running through my brain.

"Pheobe is fast asleep in her room," Christian comes up behind me and kisses my neck. I smile and turn around on the balcony and kiss him back. This man, he is what I need. I haven't felt so in love with anyone before. The need and desire run through me.

"Since she's asleep, how about we get into some comfy clothes. Mom hasn't called me back yet, so we can always see her tomorrow and order in tonight. I want to enjoy our 'vacation'." I kiss his neck and I think he understands what I am trying to say.

"Well, I do like chinese food." He kisses my ear and runs his hand down my back and over my butt.

"Mmm me to, but right now I think I need something else." I whisper in his ear and he slowly pulls me into the room and over to our bedroom and closes the door softly.

"We will need to be quiet so we don't wake you-know-who," he whispers seductively and a giggle softly. This is it. This is what I have been so scared to do, but in this moment it feels so right.

I take off my pants and throw them over in the floor, as Christian walks over and starts to kiss me, really kiss me. I unbutton his pants, and they fall to the floor. I do the same to his shirt and he takes it off as I take off my mine. He picks me up and lays me gently on the bed, kissing every inch of my stomach and chest.

"Are you sure?" The question is soft but I know he's just worried.

"Yes," I kiss his lips as he pulls down my underwear. I can feel him, growing and eager for me. My anxiety starts to come back, but I calm it down by thinking of just Christian. I want this man, I want him in everyway possible.

The next thing I know, his fingers are circling my sex, making me moan softly. He keeps kissing my lips as he slowly inserts them into my folds and I can't help but to gasp. He chuckles quietly and kisses my neck as he does gently circles and pulls them in and out getting me ready. Who know making love could be so, amazing? Exciting? I can't find the right word.

"Are you ready," he asks in a husky voice, and all I can do is nod. My voice gone.

He pulls his boxers off and plops out. My eyes get big as he smiles and shakes his head. Will he even fit? I mean, I birthed a little girl but this will hurt, and before I can get lost in my head with fear, he inserts himself and my world is lost in colors I didn't know could exist. Slowly in and out, looking to make sure I am okay. I hold on tight as he picks up pace, making everything in me shut down except for this little voice in me screaming, 'THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!'

He keeps going, faster and faster and I can feel something in me starting to build up. I keep my mouth on his as he moans into me. Losing himself into something so magical. The amount of energy he has pays off as I explode into muffled screams in his neck, as he climaxes with me. Everything I ever feared, really was in my head. This wonderful man proved it. He slowly pulls out, as I am a little sore.

"For your first time, your first REAL time, you were amazing." He kisses my hair and cuddles into me after putting on his underwear and I do the same. I can't breathe. I feel so, powerful. Like I can conquer the world and I let out a soft giggle.

"Are you laughing at me Miss Steele?" He jokes and kisses my cheek.

"Never Mr. Grey. Thank you. That was, well, I have no words to compare it to. You were amazing." I giggle back as his hands circle around me. My scars don't burn, no memories come back. Just us.

"You are like my own personal heater Anastasia. No matter how hot or cold outside, you are always like the sun." With those soft words I fall into a deep sleep and dream of nothing but Christian and Pheobe.

Christian's POV

My Anastasia, she really is amazing. To overcome such a horrible past, and yet willing to do anything to see everyone smile. I wish I could be half the person that she is. I watch her sleep, and put on a nightgown on her sleeping body, without waking her and check my emails. The trip to Boston has proved to be fruitful, as we are buying old mills and turning them back into running textile mills. Hopefully this will increase the economy and give about 10,000 more jobs.

I look to see Taylor has said there is still no luck in finding John, but a tracking device in Ana's purse has shown he is still in Washington, which I hope he stays. I look back at Ana and I can only imagine what she is thinking. All the fear, all the questions, all the doubts. I could see it on the plane when that annoying stewardess wouldn't leave us alone. If it had just been myself I would have told her to leave, but I didn't want to scare Ana or Pheobe. I don't know what I would do without them. They have given my life new meaning. To be a father, when I had no desire to be one, and to maybe one day be a husband if Anastasia will allow it.

I look to see Ana's phone ringing and see it's her mother. I go to answer it, but I stop. Do I really want to meet the woman that put a man above her own daughter's safety and health? I feel my hands ball up as the phone stops ringing. I don't want Ana to hurt anymore. I have had years to heal over what my mother did, and how she wanted to run away and start over. Ana's mother just wanted someone to take care of her, and didn't care of what happened to anyone else.

I go and softly wake Ana, she mumbles that she loves me, and I smile. "I know baby, but your mother called. I was on the phone with Taylor or I would have answered it myself." I say and she wakes up and looks over me and smiles. She must have had a good dream.

"I'm up, I'm up. What time is it?" She looks over at the clock which reads just after sever in the morning. She shakes her head and slowly gets up and kisses me. I can feel something growing and have to think of other things to stop it or we won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

"Is Pheobe up yet?" and I shake my head, she smiles and get's up and puts on her robe. She walks over to Pheobe's room and get's her up. I can hear her complaining that she's tired and hungry and I quickly put on some clothes and call room service. I have him bring up three plates of the chef's morning special with coffee, two orange juices, chocolate milk, and some hot tea for Ana.

"Well, someone is going to get spoiled with all this princess business," Ana says over to me as she comes back from Pheobe's room. I smile and blame Taylor on being a dad of a daughter. She smiles and walks over to her suitcase to get clothes for herself and Pheobe.

"Can you see what my mom said? She's usualy not up this early even if I call the night before." I look over at her phone, and listen to the voicemail.

"Ana, we are up and awaiting your arrival! I can't wait to meet your boyfriend I hope he is treating you right and he is treating Pheobe right too. Please don't be your usual self. You know how much your step dad loves you and he is sorry that we couldn't make it to graduatoin. He wants to take us all out to dinner to make up for it. How about a day at the beach? We can go swimming and hit up a cafe on the beach as well. Call me and let me know!"

I close the phone and shake my head. If anyone should be treating Ana and Pheobe right it is her. I slow down and calm myself. "She said she wants to spend the day on the beach, and that your step dad would like to go to dinner tonight." I say to Ana as she nods and pulls out a pink and white sun dress and bathing suit, and a yellow over dress for Pheobe and a pink swim suit for her as well. Ana is always on top of things.

"Oh by the way, I packed you some swim trunks from god knows where. The tags were still on them and in french or some other language. Go get dressed Mr. Grey for today you are going to meet my mother. I hope you don't mind constent questions and stories of me when I was like two." She smiles over but the smile doesn't feel like it usually does. There is sadness behind it. Probably thinking of the past.

"yes ma'am" I smile and get dressed as she does. I want to take away all the pain, to calm the demons of the past. First, before I can do that I will have to meet the woman that caused this beautiful, smart, funny goddess to break and shatter. Please let me have the patience to not kill this woman.

John POV

"HOW COULD SHE NOT BE THERE?" I scream at this stupid whore. She is sobbing as I slap her face again. Yes, you like that don't you. Anastasia did. I know she did. She was such a good girl, always doing what I said.

"I.. I'm sorry. She wasn't there. I got her purse and some of her clothes and a locket, but she wasn't there.." I hit her again as she sobs louder. Fucking whores. They can't do anything right, even fuck.

I look out at the rain, trying to think of where she could have gone and an idea came to mind. Her mother is still probably hiding away, but if I find her, she will tell me where Ana is. My sweet Ana, now the mother of my sweet daughter Pheobe. I look over at the pictures of them both. God, the woman Ana has become. I knew she would be beautiful. No man is worthy of her. No man can come close to what she needs. I know what she needs. I know her wants.

"I want you to go to the library and see if you can find anything on her mother. I want to know where she moved, if she changed her last name. Anything. If you do this for me, I will reward you. I will reward you well," I show her a bag of coke and unbutton my pants. I know what this woman wants and I know she will do anything I ask for it.

"I will I promise," I hand her the name of Ana's mother and kiss her hard on the lips. She's no Ana, but she has the same look as her. She will do until I have my sweet girl in my arms. She will come to her senses and see that she needs me.

I watch as she leaves and look at the television as I see Christian Grey and Anastasia holding hands in public as everyone loses their shit over how cute they are and how Grey has become quite the dad. Makes me sick! That's my girl, my girls. I will make him pay. I shine my gun in my hands and lose myself into the sweet memories of Anastasia and how I will make her feel like a woman again.


End file.
